User:SaltylakeXD

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Hello, I'm Alma and I'm just some loser who likes to watch animated movies.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2tr8_BObrp8Jr5OIQI4DiQ

Nintendo Switch friend code: SW-2650-3601-5919

I typed in blue lmao


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SaltylakeXD

one month ago
Score 2

I, SaltylakeXD, am fucking dead.

rip in piss forever miss

2003-2020
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SaltylakeXD

one month ago
Score 0
I finally have a comment section on my profile :D
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EijiZeBoi

one month ago
Score 4

I am posting here in the hopes that you will help my to find my son. He is 43 years old and suffers from ASD. His computer was left open to this page, and the “t” “e” “n” “d” “I” “e” “s” keys are slick with chicken tender grease, so I know he must visit this community frequently.

For the most part my baby boy is non-verbal, but he does have a few word approximations that he uses to ask his mummy for his favourite things (tendies = chicken tenders, Dewey = Mountain Dew, honey mussy = honey mustard dipping sauce, etc.). However, he mostly communicates by making shrieking sounds and banging on the walls until I bring him chicken tenders. He is a growing boy, after all!

I made a huge mistake earlier this afternoon when I let my stupid (now ex) boyfriend Sven persuade me to purée a small amount of cauliflower into the batter I use to coat my baby boy’s chicken tenders before I deep fry them. You see, because my son has autism he only eats a handful of foods, and his doctors have advised me to just let him have whatever foods he likes due to his severe condition. Sven is a well known local volunteer softball coach, so his health and physical appearance are obviously very important to him and an important part of his career. This was how he convinced me to try to deceive my sweet good boy. He said “he is retarded Elena! He will never notice such a small amount of cauliflower in his food! He barely chews it, and drowns it in honey mustard for fuck’s sake! The boy needs to start eating healthy foods or he’s gonna drop dead of a heart attack! You are the parent Elena!” So I did the unthinkable. I added the tiniest bit of cauliflower purée to his chicken tender batter. My poor sweet boy!!!!! Of course he noticed right away when I brought him his 4pm pre-dinner snack :( before he even tasted them he started shrieking and screaming “vegetals!! vegetals!!!” He threw the platter of chicken on the floor and started throwing his feces and urine around his bedroom and at myself and my boyfriend (my son is not able to use the restroom due to being morbidly obese and unable to fit through a standard door frame, so he often uses bottles and bowls to relieve himself in his bedroom - such a big boy!). I was so proud of my good boy for using a new word, (vegetables!) but instead of celebrating his growth, I am sobbing because my sweet boy is now missing!

When I ran to the kitchen to make him some fresh unadulterated chicken tenders before he became famished from his tantrum, he must have run full speed into the wall of his bedroom, which is an exterior wall. Sonehow, he crashed right through the wall! I guess on account of his heavy set frame and his extreme rage (induced by my horrible deception)? By the time I got back to his room to investigate the crashing sound, he had already disappeared! I know he had planned to leave for good, too, because he took his Asian lady body pillow with him.

I have contacted the local police, but they just told me he is a “grown man” and there’s nothing they can do until he has been missing for at least 48 hours!!! He will starve to death by then!!! I am so lost without my good boy.

Of course, I immediately kicked my boyfriend out of the house and told him never to come near me or my sweetie again!!! I also put several platters of fresh chicken tenders with chocolate milk and Mountain Dew around the house and in the nearby woods, but so far they all remain untouched :(

I’m hoping against all hopes that somehow my good boy will read this, or reach out to one of his internet friends and you can relay my message to him.

My dear sweet good boy,

Mummy is so sorry for what she did to you. She will never ever ever add any vegetables to your chicken tenders ever again!! That awful Sven is gone forever from our lives! It will always be just you and mummy. You will not need to worry about any more “good boy points” because I have awarded you 100,000,000 of them and chicken tenders will always cost 0 points. Please come home!!!

Love,

Mummy xoxoxoxox

If any of you are local friends to my snuggly boy, and he approaches you in person please be careful! He is startled easily and becomes enraged and violent. The best thing you can do is put out plenty of chicken tenders and chocolate milk to keep him busy eating while you contact me so I can come and get him. And do NOT touch that body pillow!!!
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SaltylakeXD

one month ago
Score 0

One skin

Two skin

Three skin
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EijiZeBoi

one month ago
Score 0
Tenya Iida's my hyung btw.
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SaltylakeXD

29 days ago
Score 0

Who is worse?

David Failburg

Imogen Bitchensen

JKL

Makunt Izichi

Joey Loserpants

Darry McBedwetter

reply to this comment to answer
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SaltylakeXD

29 days ago
Score 0
time to make more stupid comments on my profile
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SaltylakeXD

29 days ago
Score 2
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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Boahconstrictor

2 days ago
Score 0
GUERILLA warfare. GUE. GUE. GUERILLA. GUE-RI-LLA-WAR-FARE.
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Boahconstrictor

2 days ago
Score 0
Ok I'm dead
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SaltylakeXD

29 days ago
Score 0
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH!!!!! SALTYLAKEXD, HOW DARE YOU MAKE ANOTHER STUPID COMMENT ON YOUR PROFILE!!!!!!!????? YOU ARE GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED FOR 9854672071345788 DICK YEARS!!!!!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!!!!
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SaltylakeXD

27 days ago
Score 0
And then they all fucking died. The end.
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EijiZeBoi

8 days ago
Score 2
We must start a revolution to destroy the Ice Age Baby.
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SaltylakeXD

8 days ago
Score 2

Yes

He is responsible for 500 million vigintillion deaths in the universe
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HellLord

8 days ago
Score 0
And he killed Cleopatra, he never grows up, even when he killed Cleopatra, let’s kill the ice age baby
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SaltylakeXD

8 days ago
Score 2

Yes

We'll save the universe
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SaltylakeXD

6 days ago
Score 0

STAUP RITE THERE

UNCE U READ DIS U CUNT STAUP.

YOU WILL LEIK DIE

MY NAME IS BETTY, AND I AM A SUPER DISCO PENGUIN.

LEIK, I DIED LIEK, IF U DUNT SEND DIS TWO 643748463784potato67836 PEOPLE

I WILL LEIK CUM TO YER HOUSE

AND I WILL LEIK

LIEK

LEIK

PEE ON YER NUTZ, AND OTHER PERTS OF YEE

AND YOU WILL LEIK DIE

CAUSE CHAIN MAIL IS SO DAMN FUCKIN REAL

AND IT DEFINANLTY AINT FAKE OR ANYTHING

NUUUUU IT REAL

IT REAL, BRO

LIEK

I WILL COME TOONIGHT AND EAT YER NUTS

THIS IS REAL BRO

SERRIUSLY

NO JOKE BRO

REMEMBER DIS

BETTY GOT YER NUTS

YER NEXT

DIS IS REAL BRO

IT AINT FAKE OR ANYTHUNG

IT AINT SPAM OR NUTHIN

DIS IS REAL BRO

DIS REAL

IT AINT FAKE OR SPAM OR ANTHUNG, DIS REAL BRO DIS IS LEGIT

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