Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 is a 2004 science fiction superhero comedy film directed by Bob Clark (in his last directing role before he was killed in a car crash with his son in 2007) and is a sequel to 1999's Baby Geniuses. Unlike the first film, which was all done in the United States, this one is an international co-production from companies in the United States, Germany, and the United Kingdom.
Like its predecessor, the film was universally panned by critics and the audience alike, having a rating of 2.0 on IMDB, holding a rare score of 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and ranked 5th on their "Worst of the Worst (2000-2009)" list, and unlike the first film, failed at the box office. The film was nominated for the Golden Raspberry Awards that year for Worst Picture, but it lost to Catwoman. This film is considered by many to be one of the worst films of all time and one of the worst sequels ever made.
Following the events of the first film, four babies can communicate with each other using 'baby talk', and have knowledge of many secrets. The baby geniuses become involved in a scheme by media mogul Bill Biscane, later revealed to be known as Kane, who kidnaps children everywhere. Helping the geniuses is a legendary super-baby named Kahuna who stops Biscane's plots and saves children from being kidnapped by Biscane and his minions. He joins up with several other babies in an attempt to stop Biscane, who intends to use a state-of-the-art satellite system to control the world's population by brainwashing them and forcing people to not be active and watch TV the rest of their lives.
The film starts with a group of babies in a day care center. Archie tells the others (Finkelman, Alex, and Rosita) a story about a super baby called Kahuna. Kahuna rescues kids all around the world. According to Archie, Kahuna rescued a group of children from an orphanage run by the evil Kane. Kahuna and Kane are nemeses and hate each other, but Kahuna always wins their battles.
Archie's father Stan, who seems to own the day care center, is letting it be used as a television set by the evil Biscane who is starting up his own TV channel. Archie notices someone spying on the goings-on at the television set in the bushes, but he isn't sure who it is. However, he begins to believe Biscane is evil. He and the other babies sneak into Stan's office and decide to check out Biscane, but are spammed. When they hear some of Biscane's cronies approaching, Rosita, Alex and Finkelman run away, leaving Archie by himself. Archie overhears the cronies talking about Biscane's plan, but he doesn't really understand it. However, he accidentally attracts their attention, but before they can get him, he is rescued by Kahuna, who is in fact real. But then Kahuna leaves and the other babies don't believe Archie. Kylie, Archie's older cousin and Stan's niece, takes them all out to the children's museum, but not before bumping into a friend and a disc falls into the pushchair. On the way to the museum they are stopped by loads of Biscane's other cronies. But Kahuna rescues them all, and the babies realise that Archie was telling the truth. Kahuna takes them all to his base in Hollywood, where they meet Zack, whom Kahuna took in years ago. Kahuna's base is in fact a huge playground, and Kylie finds it weird. Kahuna transforms the babies into superbabies: Archie is Brain Boy, Alex is Bouncing Boy, Rosita is Cupid Girl, and Finkelman is Baby Courageous. But they don't think these super alter-egos fit their personalities, and they tell Kahuna to change them back to normal. Which he does. After convincing Stan and Archie's mother that they are okay, Archie asks Kahuna to tell him where he got his powers from. But he refuses so Archie eavesdrops on Zack and Kylie. Zack tells Kylie that Kahuna's father was a scientist and developed a formula of some sort, which Kahuna drank, and he was transformed into a super baby, but he is stuck as a child forever. Kahuna's brother didn't like it that everyone thought he and his family were freaks. When the father died, despite Kahuna being 18, he was put into an orphanage, but he escaped, and set out to rescue babies and children everywhere, and in the words of Zack, "a legend was born."
The next day, Zack and Kylie find the disc that magically managed to travel from the pushchair into Kylie's bag. Zack gives it to Kahuna. Then Zack and Kylie go for a picnic on the hills and they kiss, when Zack gets a message from Kahuna. On the disc is a clip of the programme that is to be aired on Biscane's TV channel, followed by lots of seemingly random code. They FINALLY realise that Biscane is up to no good, and set out to see what is going on. Zack, posing as a policeman, and the babies, watch as Biscane counts down til his channel is to be aired on TV. But Kahuna, who has worked out his plan to control the world stops him and destroys the satellites- before disappearing. Archie and the other three don't know what to do- they think they can't go on without Kahuna. But in fact, all they need to do is believe in themselves. They all decide to go and become their super alter-egos-for Kahuna. With Stan, Archie's mum, Kylie and Zack with them, they return to Kahuna's hideout and become Bounce Boy, Cupid Girl, Brain Boy and Courageous Boy. Then Kahuna arrives, followed by Biscane and his cronies. But after defeating all the cronies, Biscane still gets the disc he needs and begins to air the TV clip on TV. It's also revealed that he is Kahuna's older brother and he hates Kahuna for being their dad's favorite. Now Kahuna and Biscane have always been fighting, ever since Kahuna escaped from the orphanage, Biscane always wanted to be young forever, that's why he hates children, and Kahuna needed to save all the children from his evil brother. Anyway, the babies kick Biscane into the thing resembling a carousel that transformed them into their super selves and he, wanting to become everything he's ever wanted, presses a button that wasn't there before and becomes a baby, much to his despair. But thankfully his cronies promise to look after him. Kahuna reverses the transmission posing as the TV clip Biscane is airing and all the children decide to run outside and play tag. Yes, apparently every child in the world starts playing tag. Now that their work is done, Kahuna tells Archie that he must go and though they'll always be friends, Archie must stay with his family and Kahuna must go and save kids.
In the end, Zack meets his mother, Zack and Kylie are dating, apparently, and Archie, running outside, sees Kahuna in the flying vehicle who waves at him and yells that he'll always be a hero.
Why It Sucks
- It tries to cash in on the success of other (superior) superhero films at the time, but it ends up being bland and uninspired.
- Once again, the babies act more like adults than actual babies, which is still more disturbing than funny.
- Horrible acting from both the babies and adults, wasting the talent of Jon Voight, who is a usually talented actor.
- The special effects are much worse than the first film.
- False advertising, as the four babies wearing sun glasses as seen on the poster are never present at all in the movie.
- Despite being called Baby Geniuses 2, it has nothing to do with the original movie. The only characters from the first film that are even mentioned are Sly and Whit.
- Lame twist where we find out that Biscaine is Kahuna's older brother.
The Only Redeeming Quality
- The babies thankfully don't say anything inappropriate this time around.