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Shorts

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These "Shorts" should have never existed.
Genre: Animated fantasy
Photography: Color
Release Date: August 15, 2009
Runtime: 89 minutes
Country: United States
United Arab Emirates


Shorts (also known as Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock and released internationally as The Wishing Rock) is a 2009 Emirati-American comic fantasy family film written and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Why It Sucks

  1. The entire premise is bland and uninteresting. It's just about a wishing rock that's gone wrong, and that's it, literally nothing new to it.
  2. The reason why it's called "Shorts" is because it's all told in short segments but yet plays the same story. However, they're all said out of order, a huge "no-no" in films.
  3. Once again, every young actor acts oddball and strange in this film, which is a common problem with every young actor film.
  4. The booger monster is highly disgusting and grotesque and could weaken your stomach. The transformation it has is probably the most disgusting scene in the film.
  5. There is a song that's all about Toby's enemy, Helvetica, only except the song just continuously repeats "Helvetica, Helvetica, Helvetica Black" over and over again, which is highly annoying and lazy at best.
  6. At one point, Loogie's brothers are seen playing Fable 2 (an Xbox 360 game) with PlayStation 3 controllers, which makes no sense, not unless, of course, they're using an emulator.
  7. Loads of nasty gross-out humor, such as Loogie getting pooped on by a dinosaur, as well as sending himself inside the alligator (yes, he jumped inside the alligator to get the rock) and came out with alligator spit all over him.
  8. At one point, Helvetica almost eats a fish alive, which can practically get you sick.
  9. Overuse of cartoon sound effects in a live-action film.
  10. The Block Box isn't even interesting at all. It's just one of the cliched objects that "can do everything."
  11. If any of the characters wished for everything to go back to normal and the rock would disappear, none of this movie would happen.
  12. The cinematography is ugly and dull.
  13. The beginning spoils the fact that Carbon Black is the villain of the film.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. Good CGI, although it's poorly executed with the booger monster.
  2. The acting by the adult actors including James Spader are decent.
  3. The whole staring contest joke between the Blinker kids is funny.
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