BMX Bandits

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BMX Bandits (released in the US on bootleg VHS tapes as Short Wave) is a 1983 Australian family crime drama film produced by Nilsen Premiere. The film stars Nicole Kidman (in her film debut), Bryan Marshall, Angelo D'Angelo, James Lugton and David Argue, written by Russell Hagg, and Patrick Edgeworth, and directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith.

Why It Sucks:

  1. Terrible dialogue and weak plot.
  2. For a film called 'BMX Bandits', there isn't any BMX Bandit-ing or any BMXs for the entire first half, apart from the first 2 minutes.
  3. Despite the character called "Fat Kid" (Anthony Alafaci) being the bully, in contrast to the appearances of the protagonists P.J. and Goose who are tall and good looking, it just comes off as sad when they get back at him like they're the bullies.
  4. Nicole Kidman's stunt double when performing bike tricks doesn't look like her and it's obvious that it's a grown man.
  5. The chase scene between the kids and the gangsters goes on for too long and takes up most of the film's entire second half.
  6. For a bunch of tough hardened criminals armed with knives and guns, they're incredibly incompetent when dealing with the kids. For example, when they've driven into a cul-de-sac, instead of getting out of the car and facing the hordes of kids on bikes that start pelting them with flour sacks, they could've ploughed through them with their car. Yes, it's a family movie but come on.

The Only Redeeming Quality

  1. Nicole Kidman gives a pretty good performance in her film debut.

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