Piranha 3DD

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Piranha 3DD
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What does the extra 'D' stand for, by the way?
Genre: Action
Adventure
Comedy
Horror
Thriller
Directed By: John Gulager
Produced By: Mark Canton
Marc Toberoff
Joel Soisson
Written By: Patrick Melton
Marcus Dunstan
Joel Soisson
Starring: Danielle Panabaker
Matt Bush
David Koechner
Chris Zylka
Katrina Bowden
Gary Busey
Christopher Lloyd
David Hasselhoff
Cinematography: Alexandre Lehmann
Distributed By: The Weinstein Company
Release Date: May 11, 2012 (United Kingdom)
June 1, 2012 (United States)
Runtime: 82 minutes
Country: United States
Franchise: Piranha
Prequel: Piranha 3D

Piranha 3DD is a 2012 3D adult comedy horror film directed by John Gulager. The film is a sequel to the 2010 film Piranha 3D and was released on June 1st 2012 in the US and May 11th 2012 in the UK. The films stars Christopher Lloyd, David Hasselhoff, Gary Busey, Danielle Panabaker and Jean-Luc Bilodeau.

While the original film was well-received and a decent box office success, this sequel was poorly received by critics and a box office failure.

Plot

A year after the massacre on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas, an eradication campaign has left the lake uninhabitable, and the town itself has been largely abandoned as a result of the lake drying up. Meanwhile, at Cross Lake, two farmers search the waters to recover the body of a dead cow. Piranha eggs that have been laid inside the cow hatch, and the farmers are killed by the swarm, but before they both die, one farmer pops out of the water, bites the head off one of the piranhas and spits it into the air before sinking back into the water.

Marine biology student Maddy returns home for the summer to the waterpark she co-owns. She finds to her horror that the other co-owner, her stepfather Chet, plans to add an adult-themed section to the waterpark with "water-certified strippers", and re-open it as "Big Wet". At a party at the waterpark that night, Maddy encounters several old acquaintances, including her policeman ex-boyfriend Kyle and Barry, who has secretly had a crush on her since grade school. She also runs into two of her close friends, Ashley and Shelby. Shelby and her boyfriend Josh go skinny-dipping in the lake, where a piranha makes its way inside her vagina. Meanwhile, Ashley and her boyfriend Travis begin to have sex in their van, but Ashley accidentally trips the handbrake with her foot, causing the van to roll into the lake. Handcuffed to the van during foreplay and unable to escape, Travis is devoured while Ashley, on the roof of the van, calls for help. With no one around to hear her cries, the van sinks into the lake and she is eaten alive by the killer fish.

The next day, Maddy is consoling Shelby about their missing friends. While sitting on a jetty, they are both attacked by a swarm of piranhas. They manage to kill one, and Maddy, Kyle and Barry take it to marine expert Carl Goodman to examine. He informs them that the piranhas may be moving via sewage pipes and underground rivers between lakes, attracted by chemicals involved in swimming pool cleansers that match their spawning routes. However, the wider world wouldn't listen to his theory that the fish could evolve to become terrain-viable. The trio return to the lake, where they establish that the piranhas cannot make their way into the outflow pipes connecting the lake and the waterpark. While Shelby and Josh are having sex, the piranha in Shelby's vagina bites Josh's penis, forcing him to chop the organ off with a knife. Both are hospitalized, but survive. Kyle is revealed to be corrupt and taking bribes from Chet, who is secretly pumping water from an underground river into the waterpark, lowering his costs and boosting his profits. Chet orders Kyle to keep Maddy from finding out about his nefarious plans.

"Big Wet" opens the next day. Among the first guests are Deputy Fallon, who survived his previous ordeal with the piranhas but lost his legs, and former cameraman Andrew Cunningham. While the duo attempts to overcome their fear of the water after they were attacked a year ago, David Hasselhoff also makes an appearance as himself, a celebrity lifeguard.

Discovering the connection between the park and the underground river, Maddy attempts to shut the waterpark down, but is stopped by Chet and Kyle. The piranhas make their way to the area and attack, killing many of the lifeguards and waterpark-goers. Fallon attaches a shotgun prosthesis to his legs in order to save the visitors, while Hasselhoff, after rescuing a small boy named David, is pleased that he has finally become a real lifeguard and seems to be nonchalant and unfazed by the bloodbath around him. In the chaos, Chet refuses to help any survivors, including Kiki, who is eaten by the fish. He reluctantly offers some cash to a young girl whose mother is dead, but then accidentally reverses over her with his golf cart. As he attempts to drive off to safety, Chet is then decapitated by a hanging cable when he is distracted by a fleeing woman in a bikini.

Maddy instructs Barry to begin draining the pools; however, while rescuing people from the water, she becomes caught in the suction and is dragged down to the bottom of the pool. After Kyle refuses to save her because of his fear of piranhas, despite being unable to swim, Barry leaps down and brings her to the surface, whereupon Maddy is revived. She and Barry then kiss.

Another employee, Big Dave, pours pure chlorine into the pipes, followed by a lit joint. The resulting explosion kills most of the piranhas, while Kyle is killed by a falling trident. The celebrations are cut short, however, when Maddy takes a phone call from a horrified Mr. Goodman, who informs them that the escaped piranha are evolving and are now able to move on land, to which Maddy replies that she knows. The film ends as a piranha emerges from the pool and decapitates David (the small child whom Hasselhoff saved earlier), leading Hasselhoff to quip "little ginger moron", while the surviving visitors pick up their phones and take pictures of the dead child while the credits roll.

In a post-credits scene, Hasselhoff is running on a beach holding a trident, advertising a film titled Fishhunter.

Why It Sucks

  1. The movie is a rip-off of Jaws 3D, as both are animal attack horror movies set in water parks, with said aquatic animal getting inside.
  2. Awful acting that wastes the talents of Gary Busey, Christopher Lloyd and David Hasselhoff.
  3. Non-existent plot, which also doesn't make any sense in several ways;
    • Deputy Fallon, who used a propeller to kill dozens of piranhas, survives with both of his legs off. Given the situation, there is no way he could've survived.
    • Plus, if the piranhas did make it through the sewer passages through the ocean, there is a very high chance that it could spread to a worldwide issue, not confined to just 1 place.
  4. The 3D effects aren't good, to the point where the film feels like a direct-to-DVD sequel rather than a theatrical film.
  5. Unfunny humor, mostly consisting of crotch jokes.
  6. Horrible sex scenes.
  7. Scientific inaccuracy: Chlorine is a cleaning chemical used to keep bacteria and wild fish out, and instead of just simply killing the piranhas, it somehow becomes a bomb.
  8. There is a pointless dream sequence where Maddy sees baby piranhas in her bathtub and gets attacked by a large piranha.

External links

Comments


avatar

Takashi Komuro-San 47

8 days ago
Score 0
One of my favorite actors, Ving Rhames got involved in this too?

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