Machete Kills

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Machete Kills
Machete Kills Poster auto x1.jpg
Spoiler Alert: Machete DOES NOT kill.
Genre: Action
Directed By: Robert Rodriguez
Produced By: Sergei Bespalov
Aaron Kaufman
Iliana Nikolic
Alexander Rodnyansky
Robert Rodriguez
Rick Schwartz
Written By: Kyle Ward
Robert Rodriguez
Marcel Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo
Michelle Rodriguez
Sofía Vergara
Amber Heard
Antonio Banderas
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Walt Goggins
William Sadler
Demián Bichir
Mel Gibson
Photography: Color
Cinematography: Robert Rodriguez
Distributed By: Open Road Films
Release Date: September 19, 2013 (Austin Fantastic Fest)
October 11, 2013 (United States)
Runtime: 108 minutes
Country: United States
Language: English
Budget: $20 million
Box Office: $17.4 million
Prequel: Machete

Machete Kills is a 2013 American action exploitation film co-written and directed by Robert Rodriguez. It is a sequel to Machete, the third film based on a Grindhouse fake trailer and the second spin-off of the Spy Kids franchise. Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Tom Savini, Electra and Elise Avellan, Felix Sabates, and Jessica Alba reprise their roles from the first film and are joined by series newcomers Mel Gibson, Demián Bichir, Amber Heard, Sofía Vergara, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, Alexa Vega, William Sadler, Marko Zaror, and Charlie Sheen (credited by his birth name of "Carlos Estévez"). The film follows the titular ex-federal (Trejo) as he is recruited by the U.S. President (Sheen) to stop an arms dealer (Gibson) and a revolutionary (Bichir).


When the president (Carlos Estevez) of the United States has a mission that would be impossible for just any mortal man, the person he needs is Machete (Danny Trejo), a knife-wielding ex-Federale agent. Machete's mission is to take down Voz (Mel Gibson), a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has come up with a plot to start a nuclear war. Facing death at every turn from assassins, Machete pulls out all of his skills to get the job done.

Bad Qualities

  1. Unfunny and weak acting.
  2. Just like the first Machete, Danny Trejo moves rather slow and doesn't do much in the movie.
  3. Bad effects that make the movie look more like a 1960's comic than a modern movie.
  4. The plot is all over the place.
  5. Literally the film got no promotion whatsoever.
    • It technically had promotion since Lady Gaga (who plays La Chameleón in the movie) released a promo song for the movie called "Aura", but the movie itself didn't get anything like a soundtrack CD or a rare exclusive DVD.
    • It is rumored that the movie was a failure because of the non-promotion it got.
  6. Not helping BQ#5, the film also only managed to get $17.4 million at the box office.
    • Hell, even the budget (which was $20 million) was more than that!
  7. The music is generic and makes the movie sound more like a horror movie.
  8. The CGI is poorly produced and looks incredibly terrible.
  9. The plot pointers are overused constantly.
  10. Misleading title: Machete does not kill anyone in the movie, all he does is injure people.
  11. Sartana, Jessica Alba's character, was killed off at the very beginning, which was disappointing.
  12. The performances of both Alexa Vega and Sofia Vergara are obnoxious as hell.
  13. The cliffhanger ending is atrocious as Machete goes to space to stop Voz and later ends with the inclusion of the trailers for another planned sequel teased titled Machete Kills Again...In Space which will never happen at all.

Good Qualities

  1. Lady Gaga does a passable acting job playing La Chameleón, Despite her character being negatively received by critics.
    • Same goes with Jessica Alba and Charlie Sheen, as well as Danny Trejo as Machete himself!
  2. To be fair, the first film, known as Machete, is much better than this.
  3. Much like in both Sin City movies or other of his films, it's still impressive to see how Robert Rodriguez can get so many talented and popular actors for his movies.
  4. Simply due to it's ridiculous nature, this film can be considered "so bad, it's good".





Machete Kills was not well-received by critics. Rotten Tomatoes gave the film a rating of 30%, based on 121 reviews, with the critical consensus "While possessed with the same schlocky lunacy as its far superior predecessor, Machete Kills loses the first installment's spark in a less deftly assembled sequel." At Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating based on reviews from mainstream critics, the film has received a score of 41 out of 100, based on 33 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews".

Gaga was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actress for her work in the film, but lost to Kim Kardashian for Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.

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