Keith Lemon: The Film
Keith Lemon: The Film is a 2012 British comedy produced by Generator Entertainment, Molinare Studio, and Northern Ireland Screen, distributed by Lionsgate and based on the television character Keith Lemon created by Leigh Francis first appearing on Channel 4's Bo Selecta!. The film stars Leigh Francis (who's also co-writer), Verne Troyer, Kevin Bishop, Laura Aikman, and Kelly Brook, and co-written with Francis by Paul Angunawela (who was also director).
Keith Lemon becomes rich by inventing the phone with a Lemon on it and moves to Hollywood. However, when his girlfriend gets kidnapped and with the phone being able to sag the owner's mouth, Keith must save her and escape from the media backlash he's getting.
Why It isn't sha-ting. OOSH!!
- An unsubstantial plot that hardly makes sense.
- The "comedy" solely consists of aggressively vulgar sexual references, gross-out humor, toilet humor, outdated references, pop-culture references, and awkward jokes that just fall flat. In fact, that's what the plot is in general.
- Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis)'s only characterization is of a highly stereotypical "dirty man" who only talks about sex and his ego. In fact, he cheats on his pregnant girlfriend whilst she's been kidnapped.
- Cobiamous amounts of filler scenes that hardly have anything to do with the plot at all.
- There are tones of pop-culture references that have no sense or purpose whatsoever, and once again, are nothing but pointless filler.
- In one scene, Keith goes through the entire plotline to First Blood to Kelly Brook.
- There is also a fake episode of This Morning featured, complete with Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby presenting it like they do in reality.
- Many movies and TV shows (eg, Britain's Got Talent, Piranha 3D, The Big Breakfast, The X Factor) are just randomly mentioned... and nothing goes through it.
- There are also references to Leigh Francis's other show Bo Selecta, where all the characters from that show appear for no reason at all (eg, The Bear, and Mel B).
- Unneeded cameos by not just the aforementioned Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, but also Fearne Cotton, Emma Bunton, Melanie Chisholm, Gary Barlow, Jedward, Vernon Kay and loads more. David Hasselhoff is the only one of these cameos that serves any purpose in the story.
- Keith's smartphone somehow magically directs him to Archimedes' (Verne Troyer) place, but it's never explained how it's magic. The phone never gets used by Keith again later in the film.
- Everyone's faces near the end go "wonky" due to Keith's Lemon Phone and they all then hate him, but it's never explained why.
- Keith just saves Rosie (Laura Aikman) by dropping into the warehouse she's in and falling onto Evil Steve and then that's it. It just ends there.
- The uncensored version is worse than the theatrical cut, with more pointless sexual scenes (eg, when a man is seen squeezing a woman's breasts, which is blurred out in the theatrical cut) and profanity.
- A very repetitive soundtrack.
The film was universally panned. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a rare 0% score, based on twelve reviews.
In a one-star review in The Daily Telegraph, Robbie Collin said "it may be the most staggeringly perfunctory piece of filmmaking I have ever seen." Phelim O'Neill, in another one-star review for The Guardian, said "the script ... must have taken longer to read than it did to write." In writing for Total Film, George Bass describes the funniest moment in the film as "a bus sign (“T’LEEDS”). Six letters and an apostrophe. Save yourself the ticket."
In a scathing review, Mark Kermode described the film as "unbelievably puerile" and "shockingly terrible", claiming that he had found the experience of digging a five-pence coin from the armrest of his chair less revolting than the film. He later placed it at number one on his worst films of 2012 list and, in 2018, at number five of his worst movies of the past ten years.
The movie debuted at #5 at the UK Box Office, earning £1,196,310 in revenue. In its opening weekend, the film was the highest-ranking debut film at the box office. During its second weekend, the movie dropped to #9, earning £370,735, for a two-week total gross of £2,531,902. It went on to make a total of £4,017,234.