Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike
"WHAT THE HOLY H---?!? Who-who the H--- asked for this? Who asked for anything from this franchise? Why the F--- is this a franchise?!?"— TheMysteriousMrEnter
"And that was Elf Bowling: The Movie, or as I like to call it, TWO HOURS TOO LONG! The animation is ugly, the voice acting is grating, the story makes no sense, the humour is atrocious, the characters are idiots, and the fact that they even attempted this movie is just mind-boggling! Seriously, what were they thinking with this one?!? Did they really expect people to buy this movie? Did they honestly think that this was going to be something that people would wanna watch again every christmas? Did they really think that this would be appealing on any level? If they did, that would be stupid as, well, everything else in this movie! Inclosing, if you have a movie that makes Foodfight! look like a more legitimate cinematic achievement, do the world a favour and STOP MAKING MOVIES!!!"— Bobsheux
""Can Christmas be spared?" Not with your greedy asses making these films."— Nostalgia Critic
Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike is a 2007 American-Fijian-South Korean Christmas computer-animated comedy film which was based on the video game of the same name.
Santa and his brother, Dingle, are pirates roaming the open sea. After getting kicked off their ship by their own crew, they become trapped in ice and don't thaw out until they reach the north pole. There, they meet elves who recognize Santa as the prophesied "white beard" and ask him to lead their factory. The elves already had been making toys, but they didn't have anything to do with them, so they kept them in storage. Santa had the idea of giving the toys to the world's children, and thus, Christmas is born. After 600 years, Santa becomes sick of his brother Dingle loafing around in his apartment and insists that he leave. This upsets Dingle, so he plots against Santa in order to take over Christmas from him. He challenges Santa to a game of Elf Bowling, but after the elves discover he cheated, his plan is foiled. He then tricks Santa into getting frozen and writes a fake note about how Santa hates the elves and is leaving. This upsets the elves, and Dingle uses the opportunity to make them follow him on a trip to Fiji. After Santa's wife finds him, Santa must get back to the elves in order to save Christmas. While Dingle hypnotized the elves, Santa figured out a way to reverse the process, thwarting Dingle's plan and saving Christmas.
Why This Film Pooped In The Peanut Barrel
- To get the cat out the bag, this movie is based off the Elf Bowling series. A game that's known for being bad. Why would anyone do that?!
- Desperate, almost insulting disconnection to the Santa Claus mythology, from having Santa's favorite food to be strudel to having him be portrayed as a Pirate Captain for his true identity in a few thousand years from the past, according to a transition scene during the film.
- Portraying Saint Nicholas as a Pirate Captain makes absolutely no sense at all since Christmas dates back to at least 336 AD, and maritime piracy as known didn't even start until the 14th Century, or the 8th if we're including vikings?
- Poor humour, which heavily focuses on slapstick, like Dingle slapping the penguins with fish, or toilet humour, like the elves making the elbow's farts.
- Poor connection to the source material (what little there is anyway). In fact, the original game already had a story that was completely different from the movie's story, which makes no sense.
- Mediocre CGI animation. Everyone looks like they're made of clay and their movements are uncanny to say the least due to the use of motion capture.
- The character movement is extremely awkward, floaty and slow.
- Dingle constantly cheats throughout the film, and barely even has a character, to begin with.
- It introduces some of the main characters way too late in the movie.
- Awful voice acting, even from veteran actors like Tom Kenny (Spongebob) and Joe Alaskey, which is filled with pirate lingo (though to be fair, the two main characters used to be pirates themselves. Unfortunately, that doesn't make the quality any less bad).
- Another crucial plot point is a magic orb that has powers that are usable, but they happen at complete random.
- Numerous plot holes, which include:
- Santa not being able to produce enough toys if not for Dingle hypnotizing the elves.
- Why are there penguins living in the North Pole? Most penguins live in the South Pole.
- There are lots of really out-of-nowhere moments, like two giant walking and talking Moai heads that look identical to each other and speak in surfer lingo.
- Stupid and annoying songs, such as the Elf introduction song, and Dingle's song, in which he glorifies slavery.
- False Advertising for two reasons:
- The design of Santa on the poster looks nothing like that shown in the movie.
- There are six penguins on the poster, but only two actually appear in the entire movie.
- It first came out on October 3rd, which makes no sense because that’s way too early for a Christmas-themed movie and Christmas isn't even celebrated until December.
- In one of the scenes, they make the only black elf a rapper and a one-note character, seriously?
- In one scene, a neon sign that is a parody of the Budweiser logo can be spotted, which is a brand of alcohol. How did this get past the censors in a PG-rated family film?
- The "Who pooped in the peanut barrel?!?" line is actually quite funny.
- Dingle's "Mutiny" song is pretty catchy.
- The design of the workshop is very unique and original.
The movie was panned by critics and audiences alike for its inappropriate-for-a-children's-movie humor and nonsensical plot. It has a 2/10 rating on IMDb.com, and only 28% of Google users liked this movie.