My Top Twelve Superhero Films Far Worse Than Batman and Robin
Batman and Robin is a movie that is pretty much hated by everyone, especially Batman fans. People everywhere have torn this film to kingdom come. But at the end of the day this movie isn't that bad. No people I seriously don't think it's one of the worst. Guys you think this is the worst? Its a movie that is So Bad, it's Entertaining and it feels like an episode of the Adam West show. Plus, we have been given far worse over the years. Because Batman and Robin is cakewalk compared to these films.
I was excited to see this movie back in 2011, but I walked out of the cinema with extreme disappointment. I had high hopes for this and it was from the director of The Mask of Zorro, Goldeneye and Casino Royale with Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordon and Angela Bassett as Amanda Waller. So much talent went into this and yet they messed it up? Firstly, they give Hal Jordan daddy issues and they never bring it up again. Secondly, Parrallax is one of the most significant villains in Green Lantern, but here he is just a generic cloud demon. Thirdly, the CGI is abysmal and falls into the uncanny valley. Plus, the suit is CG, how lazy can you people possibly be? Lastly, the character of Hector Hammond is a really inconsistent character with questionable motivations. I can understand killing his father because his father treated him like nothing and to an extent hurting Armada Waller. But trying to kill the only two people who cared about you? WHAT THE HELL???
Daredevil is easily one of my favourite superhero films of all time and I think its criminally underrated. I will defend Ben Affleck's performance as Matt Murdock/Daredevil and I will even defend the Director's Cut. But, never will a day come when I will defend it's terrible spin off, Elektra. Jennifer Garner was fine as Elektra in the previous film, but she gives a really bored performance here. Elektra is supposed to be wild, badass and mysterious yet the movie makes her the most boring and one dimensional character. The premise is about her fighting supernatural forces who when they die they turn into green slime. REALLY!!!
While the previous Ghost Rider film wasn't exactly good it is God compared to this movie. Despite some good action and decent special effects, the movie is annoyingly edited, the characters, with the exception of Idris Elba, are painfully bland, Nicholas Cage's performance is way to hammy and over-the-top and one of the villains Ghost Rider fights is a guy who decays things. Moving On.
I'm not gonna talk about this one that much. What can I say? It was meant to cash on the popularity of Superman at the time, but it failed miserably. The effects were god awful, the direction is a joke and ludicrous writing.
THIS FILM SUCKS!!! This is a film that is painfully bad, ungodly boring and mind-numbly idiotic. Shredder, Karai and Eric Sacks/Wallmart Christopher Walken are useless as villains. I'm so sorry but giving Shredder a bionic suit doesn't make him look badass it makes him look stupid, especially when you consider the fact that he's supposed to be A NINJA SAMURAI MASTER!!! The Turtles look like Shrek with turtle shell backpacks and Splinter looks horrifying. The story blatantly plagiarises GMW and the action scenes are lame because of the awful camera work. You people can make the argument that isn't Ninja Turtles 3 worse? But at least they did something with the Turtles in that film and there was that nice subplot with Raph and that little boy and Mikey experiencing heart-break for the first time. Some of you may say that, "In Ninja Turtles 3 didn't the Turtles look like crap in that movie?" Like they look any better here? I can enjoy Batman and Robin for its camp value, but here the origins are wrong, the characters are badly written stereotypes of themselves, the other characters served no purpose to the plot and no good story. Ninja Turtles 3 may have been bad, but at least they tried.
What hasn't been said to death about this movie? From its terrible special effects to awful morals, horrendous acting, bad dialogue and plot points that don't make any sense. There's a scene where Superman flies a woman into outer space and she's breathing perfectly fine. This isn't Batman and Robin level bad. THIS IS JUST INSULTING TO INTELLIGENCE!!! Superman is going to get rid of all the nuclear bombs and every warring nation is fine with it? Not a single world leader questions him at all? Nuclear Man? REALLY? IF YOU WANTED TO USE AN EVIL SUPERMAN TO BATTLE OUR TITULAR HERO? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST USE BIZARRO??? YOU GOD FORSAKEN MORONS!!!
This movie was solely made to cash in on a franchise that ended triumphantly with GMW and GMW. In other words, this movie had no reason to exist. It screws up the Xmen timeline, the Dark Phoenix story is completely butchered beyond belief, bad production values, the villains are complete joke and Mystique suggesting that they should change the team's name to "X-Women" drawing unnecessary SJW propaganda. The movie is painfully dull and boring. The only good thing about this film was when Jean Grey killed off Mystique. The movie tries to portray Charles Xavier as the one in the wrong when he's the one in the right.
I enjoy the original GMW with Jim Carrey which is a fun, hilarious and well paced superhero comedy film. But its sequel is a demon incarnate and is an example of why you shouldn't do a sequel to a Jim Carrey film without Jim Carrey. It's the cocaine of cinematic irritation. Jamie Kennedy comes across the mask from the previous film and obnoxiously stares at the camera throughout the entire movie. Its often regarded as one of the worst sequels of all time and for damn good reason. The visuals are beyond terrifying, the comedy is painfully unfunny and the acting is just horrendous. The humour is written like the end of a bad punchline and Lawrence Guterman's directing is almost nonexistent.
Since Kazaam wasn't terrible enough, Shaq came back to play a B-list superhero in Steel. This movie was just a pathetic attempt to give a basketball player who didn't deserve an acting career, an acting career. It bombed critically and financially. In this, Kazaam plays this army guy who helps this woman in a wheelchair and eventually becomes a vigilante who wears a rubber suit that I guess we are supposed to believe is made of steel. Plus, Bender from The Breakfast Club is plotting to destroy the world and there is this pointless subplot of his grandma trying to bake a soufflé. Steel is not a big character and barely anyone knew who he was. So why the hell did anyone greenlight this?
Number #3 and It's a Tie
The Tim Story Fantastic Four movies weren't perfect, but they were fun superhero films that had some respect for the source material. Hell, even the Corman version is Godfather 2 compared to this pile of refuse. The tone is wrong, the characters are wrong, the grasp of the source material is also wrong and the villain is a joke. The movie forgets that the Fantastic Four are supposed to be a family. Newsflash, they are Marvel's first family it's in their name. The movie has this washed out colour pallete (give Batman and Robin credit atleast it had bright colours) and it feels like a 2 hour trailer for a movie that doesn't exist, build up to nothing. When Ben asks Reed for help, Reed leaves him to die and Doctor Doom is a villain who doesn't show up until the last 10 minutes. It's so painfully dull.
Chris Stuckmann considers this his most hated film of all time (because he is a huge fan of BTSW and for damn good reason). What hasn't been said to death about this one. Like Fant4stic, it does not understand what made Dragon Ball Z work. From its terrible acting to its horrendous dialogue, abysmal CGI effects, god awful acting, lame action scenes that have been done better in other movies and the villain is pathetic. The characters look and act ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like their original counterparts. Goku uses the Kamehameha to light candles. REALLY?
It was originally gonna be a Batman spin-off, but after years of Development Hell Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Waters left the project. Halle Berry was hired and we were given this unwanted snake in the grass. This film has absolutely nothing to do with Catwoman and is just a gender and animal swapped version of The Crow. Catwoman isn't even Selena Kyle in this, instead we have Halle Berry playing a new character by the name of Patience Phillips, whose a big coward, and is killed off and resurrected by cats in a sequence that rips off Batman Returns, but in a way that had no idea on what made it memorable and creepy. The action is horribly shot, the acting is hammy and ridiculous, especially from Sharon Stone, and not in a fun way. The bad guy's evil plot was make-up? Really, make-up? Thank you Catwoman for sending feminism (non SJW feminism) a hundred years back. YOU PIECE OF CRAP!!!
The original two Hellboy movies with Guillemo Del Toro as the director and Ron Perlman as Hellboy are fantastic superhero action comedy films, but I will never understand why Hellboy 3 was cancelled in favour of this terrible reboot nobody asked for. Too much unnecessary foul language (granted I don't mind foul language in movies, but here it's way too childish), the plot is a confusing jumbled mess of a story that can't decide on whether it wants to be Dark and Edgy or Fun and Comedic, the cinematography and visuals are terrible and look something that would belong in a PlayStation 1 FMV. Lastly, David Harbour is terribly miscast as Hellboy and Milla Jocovich plays a generic, dull and lame villain. I would rather sit through Mr Freeze's ice puns anyday than unnecessary and childish foul language. This movie just insults fans of the comic books and the movies. F**K LIONSGATE AND DAVID HARBOUR & F**K THIS MOVIE!!!! LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!!!!