Azerbaijanistanislavakiananania (Slavakiananian: Азербайканіслакіанакіананія) is a nation in Anatolia, which has had a capitalist dictator regime ever since it left Yugoslavakianania, but has switched back to communism after the reformation. Its GDP went up by 457% in 2016 after the Crimeananian Invasion. Crimeanania was heavily disputed between Eggrollslavakia and Azerbaijanistanislavakiananania, and became a major problem in the United Nations.
History of Slavakanianania
In the 13th century, Alternativan-Slavakananiyan tribes started migrating to Anatolia from modern-day Kiev, because the Mongols FRICKING YEETED THEM OUT OF THEIR DUCKING LAND! 100 years later, they became the dominant race in Anatolia, just to be TAKEN OVER BY THE OTTOMAN JERKS!(nO pUn iNtEndEd) The Alternativian-Slavakiananiyan tribes were split into 2 provinces, Alternativolaraq, and Slavakiananiya. Slavakananiya prospered due to the Silk Road, carrying eggrolls from China and introducing them to Slavakananiya. However, Alternativolaraq suffered because the Slavakananiyan tribes stole ALL THE FRICKING EGGROLLS.
In the 17th Century Habsburg princesses interbred with Slavakiananiyan royalty, which led to a new Slavakiananiyan-Habsburg bloodline. Alternativians were enraged, so they fought to declare independence from the Ottoman Empire, and succeeded with the help of Britain.
In the Seven-Years war, Prussia and Austria fought for the Holy Roman Empire, but what people don't know is that they also fought over Alternativia. The Ottoman Empire helped fight against Austria, since Slavakiananiya wanted to help Alternativia so that they don't get taken over by the Habsburgs.
Later, Napoleon wanted to take over Europe, and he temporarily had Slavakiananiya and Alternativia as his vassal states. After Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Waterloo, the Ottomans handed over Alternativia and Slavakiananiya to Prussia because they were SO BUCKING USELESS IN THE WAR AND THEY HAD NO RESOURCES AT ALL EXCEPT STUPID EGGROLLS!!!!!!!
In 1853, the Prussians merged the Alternativian and the Slavakananiyan provinces into one province, Slavakanania. Then begun the Slavakananian golden age. Because the Ottomans weren't stealing their eggrolls anymore, their population went up and eggroll medicine was invented, along with synthetic vegan eggrolls. In 1871, Prussia merged with the German Empire, making Slavakanania German territory.
The 20th century began in Slavakianania with the Great Eggroll Famine. People ate so much eggrolls that they now hated eggrolls and didn't eat anything. Obviously, this caused them to die. Their population decreased to the population they had before the Golden Age.
And JUST IN TIME, The First World War broke out, with the German government putting them in war, with them still striving in a famine.
The Birth of Yugoslavakianania
After World War 1, Slavakianania really wanted to copy Yugoslavia. They both hate Austrians and Ottomans, and they both descend from Slavs. So after Germany lost WW1, their extra territory was lost, due to the Treaty of Versailles. So Slavakanania declared independence and renamed itself Yugoslavakanania (Югославакананія), following Marxist-Communist values. The new country allied with Yugoslavia and Yugoslavia's allies to strengthen their economy and rely on aid. After 10 years, the Eggroll famine was over.
The Great Depression severely DID NOT affect Yugoslavakananians, because they had their eggrolls, and since they were communist, they had no stock market. They were also unaffected by World War 2 because they were under the protection of almost every single country in Europe and the Caucasus.
Amid the Cold War, in the year 1961, the Americans invaded Yugoslavakianania to FEED THEM THE TASTE OF FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!! BUT YUGOSLAVAKANANIANS DON LIEK DA TASTE OF FREEDUHM!!!!!! DEY LAIK EGGROLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Americans and the Russians had a friendly proxy war in Yugoslavakanania's new capital, Otizmim'var, (literally meaning "I have autism") or in Slavakiananian, (Otizmim'v є).
Split of Yugoslavakianania
This proxy war ended when the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991. Due to Americans spreading their message of freedom to Yugoslavakianania, 40% of all Yugoslavakiananian citizens supported independence from Yugoslavakianania, just in time for a new election, leading to a citizen-led military takeover, which resulted in a civil war between the military and the government, led by President Billakianiaqaritanörzhgki Clighntohgn. The military took the eastern half of Yugoslavakianania. The Alternativian descended citizens wanted to be free of the war, and also be independent from the madness and inequality of politics and eggroll distribution, so they peacefully broke free after a referendum. They formed their new state, Alternativia. The civil war ended, and what remained of Yugoslavakianania was renamed Eggrollslavakia, after their national food.
The military state declared independence and was offically named the Democratic Republic of Azerbaijanistanislavakiananania 10 years later in 2001, and was ruled by a military dictator regime ruled by Poopakalia (Slavakiananian Mənhərzamanənpisliderəm).
The second ruler came into power after YET ANOTHER military coup led by boahconstrictor (Slavakiananian: конвектор) in 2020, ending Poopakalia's 19 years of power.
The Rebirth of Yugoslavakianania
In 2023, A bunch of stupid Miraheze editors raided a Twitch thot convention, forcing Eggrollslavakian prisoners to eat eggrolls bathed in blood and dead skin cells (for more info, see [COOLEST MUVIE IN DA WORLD!!1!!!1] ). The Eggrollslavakian communist military started hunting them down, but failed when they became zombies to fight them, but they stopped the giant Rubiks Cube from destroying Earth. Months after these events, Donny Shitmaster threatens to terrorise every single country on Earth in 101 days. ([more info, see You Suck: the Musical.]) Because of this, the Slavakiananian countries spend 60% of their budgets on protecting their national security.
The next year, there were Eggrollslavakians protesting to the government to spend more of their tax money towards hunting the Miraheze editors. The same day, a big cartoon pony grew big and destroyed most of Eggrollslavakia, Alternativia, and Azerbaijanistanislavakiananania, which was linked to the infamous editors. Because of this, they decided to unite their countries once more into Yugoslavakianania. The government then decided to write a new constitution, creating what is now known as Constrictorist Communism, or Constrictorism. Constrictorism believes that it's the government's duty to steal all the money from government managed businesses and use the money to make WMDs to BLOW THEIR ENEMIES OFF THE FACE OF THE FUCKING EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They also created a new legislative branch, the People's Funkin' Communist Legislature Thing.
The first resolution of the newly-created People's Funkin' Communist Legislature Thing decided to create the Slavakiananian Google Doc Paperwork.
They forced the Miraheze editors to sign the Slavakiananian Google Doc Paperwork, stating that they will not be allowed to be Awful Movies Wiki users anymore. Half of them signed, but half refused, and escaped. When Greta Thunberg came back from the dead, the editors united to unbrainwash her. The Miraheze dispute is still ongoing, and Yugoslavakiananian protesters are getting mad.