Alaska (1996)

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"I Want That Bear!"

Alaska is a 1996 American adventure survival film directed by Fraser Clarke Heston and produced by Andy Burg. The story, written by Burg and Scott Myers, centers on two children who search through the Alaskan wilderness for their lost father. During their journey they find a polar bear that helps lead them to their father. However, a poacher with a desire to capture the bear follows close behind the kids and the polar bear. The movie was filmed primarily in the Purcell Mountains of British Columbia in Canada and the city of Vancouver. The film was a box office bomb, grossing only $11,829,959 over a $24,000,000 budget. It received negative reviews upon its release.


After moving to Alaska after the mother of the Barnes family has died, the father Jake Barnes gets stranded on top of a mountain and Sean and Jessie have to find them but they come across a polar bear cub that was caught by two poachers and find out that the polar bear is actually a spirit guide to help lead them to their father.

Why It Sucks

  1. Sean is a very unlikable protagonist who wants to leave his father just because his mother died.
  2. The writing is very poor and lackluster.
  3. The film stumbles upon some EXTREMELY mean-spirited moments such as Sean wishing for his father to die instead of his mother and the hunters using the mother polar bear's corpse to tease the cub with it.
  4. The rescue crew that looks for Sean and Jessie's father is very stupid as they pass by Sean Jessie's father's crashed plane three times without noticing it just because they were flying too low and didn't look up at a distinctly colored plane that is otherwise in plain sight!
    • And by the time the father fires his flare signal, the crew had begun heading back, not seeing the flare behind them.
  5. Despite being brother and sister, Sean and Jessie barley interact or even bond with each other.
  6. Mr. Koontz makes a terrible comic relief.
  7. The action scenes aren’t very exciting or thrilling.
  8. The film chooses Sean to have the polar bear as the spirit guide instead of Jessie being the one to have the spirit guide even though Jessie knows more about Alaska than Sean does.
  9. The film shamefully advertises Street Fighter games during Sean's introduction, even when the game isn’t popular anymore during the time the film was released.
    • He is seen playing the Street Fighter: The Movie arcade game, which was never really popular to begin with!
  10. The animal acting for the polar bear is badly directed.
  11. Speaking of the polar bear, the polar bear barley serves a purpose to this film rather than to be a spirit guide to help Sean and Jessie find their lost father.
  12. Some pointless filler such as Colin Perry making a speech about the polar bear before shooting it and the store owner talking about how he found the eagle and how it became his spirit guide when Sean was asking for mail.
  13. The film uses way too many spinning shots when characters are climbing across the mountain.
  14. Sean makes a joke about the polar bear's crotch by telling it that the polar bear is a he and not a she.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. Charlton Heston's performance is very hilarious and hammy.
  2. The soundtrack is great.
  3. The backgrounds are cool and look a lot like Alaska.
  4. It gave us the meme "I want that bear!"



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