Dorbees: Making Decisions
Dorbees: Making Decisions is the supposed pilot episode for a VeggieTales-like series known as "Dorbees", but it never happened. It was released in 1998, and features music by the Gaither Vocal Band.
The plot follows a race called Dorbees, tiny little balls that can only be seen through the lens of the most powerful microscope. Dorbees face many of the same problems as humans, such as buying appropriate clothes and listening to your parents. Jack and Mary-Jane Dorbee skip school and escape the post-columbine lockdown mechanisms their school have put into place and investigate a scary, old house, in an attempt to be seen as "grown-up". Meanwhile, Dig, a local, wealthy businessman stuck in the 70's, is visited by a swedish immigrant named Otto who is attempting to find "clothes to fit in with the common folk" and Dig has to decide between making money by exploiting a swedish immigrant (to get his 8track back) or to lead Otto to a more appropriate store. The narrator is a 73 year old, guitar playing, Dorbee named Delta Dorbee, he has several scenes and also serves to introduce the recurring Dorbee named Flec.
Why It Sucks
- As mentioned earlier, it’s an obvious bandwagon attempt to cash-in on the popularity of VeggieTales, just like Gaither's Pond.
- Unspeakably nightmarish character models, which look like colored peas that have faces and limbs.
- Despite being a religious show, God (or anything religious) is rarely ever mentioned.
- Extremely bad 3D animation. The characters keep clipping through themselves and other objects. For example, Delta Dorbee is “sitting” but his legs are through the chair.
- Flec, the annoying hillbilly Dorbee, is so crazy and so random of a character that even Delta himself admits as such.
- The short's theme is making the right decisions, including staying in school. However, the school in the short is shown to be a veritable death trap belying a horrifying authoritarian society, with teachers who teach students incredibly wrong things, and a security system that outright tries to kill anyone who attempts to escape being brainwashed into ignorance.
- The Mr. Poe and Yogul intro features generic character models that are all in a T-shaped pose, which is the default position for human-shaped 3D CG character models.
- The song for the German Mr. Poe and Yogul show features German stereotypes, such as pronouncing "the" as "da", and has spelling errors, like the word "strongest" spelled as "srongest".
- Dr. Dairy, the villainous cow, is a very stupid over-the-top baddie that gives any other villain that's been despised a run for their money.
- Poor and laughable theme song, especially the line "Why don't they go away?".
- The song "I Wanna Be Grown Up" had its Roman numerals wrong, reading 1918 (MCMXVIII) rather than 1998 (MCMXCVIII).
- When Jack and Mary Jane fall down into a hole, a news reporter claims that they deserved it because they disobeyed their parents, even though it caused them great pain.
- Extremely incoherent and disjointed collection of stories.
- The music and songs are pretty much the only thing that people can agree is genuinely good (unsurprising, seeing as the Gaither Vocal Band are an award-winning group, having been inducted into the Gospel Hall of Fame).
- Decent voice acting.
- The morals are at least subtle and not forced down your throat.
- A few funny jokes.