Difference between revisions of "All Monsters Attack"

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Latest revision as of 06:09, 4 May 2021

All Monsters Attack
All Monsters Attack.jpg
"Godzilla says that I should learn to fight my own battles, y'know!" - Minilla
Genre: Family
Monster
Directed By: Ishirō Honda
Written By: Shinichi Sekizawa
Starring: Tomonori Yazaki
Kenji Sahara
Machiko Naka
Hideyo Amamoto
Junichi Ito
Hidemi Ito
Haruo Nakajima
Marchan the Dwarf
Yasuhiko Kakuyuki
Photography: Color
Distributed By: Toho
Release Date: December 20, 1969
Runtime: 69 minutes
Country: Japan
Prequel: Son of Godzilla (chronologically)
Destroy All Monsters (release)
Sequel: Godzilla vs. Hedorah


All Monsters Attack (ゴジラ・ミニラ・ガバラ オール怪獣大進撃 Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Ōru Kaijū Daishingeki), released in North America as Godzilla’s Revenge, is a 1969 Japanese family kaijū film directed by Ishirō Honda, who was also the director of the original 1954 Godzilla movie, among others. It is widely considered by kaijū fans to be the absolute worst Godzilla film ever.

Plot

Ichiro Miki (Tomonori Yazaki) is a troubled and lonely boy whose parents are busy, and is bullied by Sanko Gabara (Junichi Ito) every day after school. To escape from his troubles, he dreams of visiting Monster Island, where he befriends Godzilla's son, Minilla. Minilla himself is being bullied by another kaiju who shares the same name as Gabara.

Why It Sucks

  1. The bulk of the movie consists of stock footage from the earlier Godzilla movies such as Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (known in North America as Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster) and Son of Godzilla, complete with recycled fights. The film also uses stock footage from King Kong Escapes (when Gorosaurus appears) and Destroy All Monsters (when Manda appears).
  2. Does a seriously poor attempt at appealing to the target audience, children.
  3. It nearly ruined the reputation of Ishiro Honda, the director of the original 1954 Godzilla movie.
  4. Extremely terrible English dub. For instance, in the original Japanese version, Minilla is voiced by a woman named Midori Uchiyama, with a voice that fits with him being a child. However, the American version gives him a Goofy-like male voice that comes across as incredibly annoying.
  5. The movie's American title makes absolutely no sense because Godzilla never gets revenge on anything, nor is he the main character of the movie. The film's Japanese title doesn't make sense either, since not all of the monsters attack in this movie and are only there for stock footage.
  6. Overly formulaic, repetitive and just plain boring story which, in the long run, isn't really a Godzilla story as much as it is a children's escapism story that merely uses Godzilla and other Toho kaijū for the sake of name recognition.
  7. Unlikeable characters that are just bland Japanese stereotypes like Sanko Gabara and his gang.
  8. An unbelievably tasteless ending which involves pulling a rather dangerous prank on a billboard painter that comes across as being mean-spirited instead of being inspiring or hilarious.
  9. Ichiro's whiny voice will get on your last nerve.
  10. The song that plays in the opening credits of the Japanese version of the film (called "The Monster March") is incredibly irritating.
  11. A lot of laughably bad scenes, like the scene where Minilla jumps on a log, which sends Gabara flying. There's even a scene where it genuinely looks like Ichiro is dry-humping a car.
  12. The exclusive footage of this movie is boring and ridiculous.
  13. Speaking of that, the only new monster fight that happens in this dull, rigor mortis film is one of the worst in any motion picture of the Kaiju genre. To elaborate, the new monster, Gabara, is overwhelming Minilla until Godzilla shows up and one-shots him with some teamwork from his son. That's it. This wouldn't be so underwhelming... if this wasn't the only new battle!
  14. Speaking of Gabara.... Oh, boy. He's possibly the weakest monster in the entire Godzilla franchise. All he did in this schlockfest was bully Minilla and then immediately get his rear end kicked by Godzilla, not even putting up a fight. Let's not even mention the fact that he doesn't even exist in the Godzilla movie universe, rendering the entire creation of the character pointless.

The Only Two Redeeming Qualities

  1. In the American version, the annoying "Monster March" vocal song was replaced with an instrumental jazz piece called "Crime Fiction" performed by Ervin Jereb. The jazz piece is pretty catchy to listen to and way better than the "Monster March" song.
  2. Gabara, while a pathetic monster, is pretty creative and original with interesting abilities.

Reception

As previously said, All Monsters Attack is widely regarded by numerous Godzilla fans as the worst movie in the franchise. The film currently has a 25% "rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 8 reviews, which is higher than Godzilla 1985, the Americanized version of 1984's The Return of Godzilla (which has a 20% rating), and the 1998 American remake of the first film (which has a 16% critic rating).

Gabara, despite appearing in one of the worst Godzilla movies, has appeared in several-non film media, such as the two extremely rare tokusatsu TV shows Go! Godman (in which it is explained that he is an irradiated bullfrog) and Go! Greenman (in which he can change size). He also appeared in the mobile game Godzilla: Kaiju Collection and the prequel novel to the 2017 anime film Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters titled Godzilla: Monster Apocalypse, in which, unlike his 58-meter movie counterpart, he was 10 meters tall, smaller than the other Kaiju. In this novel, Gabara is discovered in the Amazon rainforest by a Japanese Brazilian man named Alberto Ichiro Santos in February 2012 and rampages in the area, before an Indigenous Brazilian woman named Mira shoots an arrow laced with thermite, which causes an explosion, injuring him. He later falls into a river and is consumed by piranhas and caimans, killing him. The guy's middle name Ichiro is likely a reference to Ichiro Miki from All Monsters Attack.

Trivia

  • Similar to Armageddon, this film became part of the Criterion Collection in the Godzilla: The Showa-Era Films box set.

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