Blog:The Complete Brandonverse Timeline

Beginning of Time:

 * God creates the world.
 * The angel Lucifer doubts God and gets a two week suspension.
 * God makes Adam and Eve.
 * Lucifer convinces the two to eat a forbidden fruit, so the garden of Eden gets closed forever.
 * Lucifer is sent to hell forever with no clothes on.

REAL Beginning of Time

 * In this universe, nobody trusts God so there is no Noah for him to be kept same on an ark, the world floods.
 * God creates a new world with the Big Bang.
 * Hell is not destroyed, but the Big Bang causes damage to it, leaving Lucifer to lose his skin and hair, hurt his eyes, and damage his voice box. But since he’s immortal, he ends up having to live with it.

Dinosaur Period

 * The Movie Meat Eater Without a Cause comes out starring James Dino.
 * All of the dinosaurs become gay.
 * Homophobic aliens send an asteroid to earth to destroy the dinosaurs.

Stone Age

 * Humans finally exist.
 * They hate Africa cuz they’re racist so they move out.
 * Januygtedggdjsqiw discovers fire and dies, the caveman make a memorial of him, but that catches on fire.
 * Gugetisnawhwn invents the wheel and has sex with Dhwhwbwftsi, he thinks that feels good, but then they repopulate, so he discovered sex as well.
 * Fgojjahbhhha rips out the dick of Hababwfwhjis and blows on it, inventing the Neanderthal bone flute.

Bronze Age

 * Bronze gets discovered and people use it, they also advance their houses.
 * Fgojjahbhhha decides his name is too long, since he invented the Bone Flute, he changes his name to Dick
 * Last names become common, a blacksmith decides to put his job as his name, he is white so he calls it smith. He then fucks a lot of women and all the children go by the father's name, this starts the “Smith” as a last name trend.

Medieval/Dark Ages

 * King Harold of Cocainia sends his two biggest idiots, Berry Gordy and George Harrison to “the forbidden land” (aka: North America), they go through a time loop and arrive in the late 50s, deciding to make music.
 * King Harold tries to conquer Japan, but they take over his land instead.
 * Two years after that, King Harold stabs himself in the throat, leaving his son, Harold II to be king.
 * The Cocainian Kingdom moves and lets Japan have their island.
 * They move to another land, find plants and sell them. They name them after their kingdom.
 * The Haundvagaoi tribe gets angry because they bought the plants and got high.
 * The Haundvagaoi-Cocanian war begins and lasts 167 years.
 * Cocainians win.
 * The current king, Harold III, is madly in love with a princess named Lucy, so he gives his heart to her, dying instantly.
 * The kingdom collapses.