Blog:Nersh1rt Fucking Dies: The Movie (Fake movie (Nersh1rt))

Note: This is another fake movie I made for shits and giggles, so don't take this seriously.

Nersh1rt Fucking Dies: The Movie is a 2021 Alternativian-American black comedy film directed by Darry McBedwetter. It is the sequel to The Next Big Movie. It premiered at a bar on July 15th, 2021. It was then released in theatres on July 27th, 2021 to negative reviews. Despite it getting negative reviews, it will get a sequel slated for a 2022/2023 release.

Plot
A group of Miraheze editors celebrate the release of the Cats Butt Cut, so they get drunk at a random bar in the middle of nowhere. The party is interrupted when a random dude picks up the Jellicle McGuffin and everyone starts exploding again. Among the people that have exploded was Nersh1rt, so the drunk Miraheze users hold a funeral for her and then piss on her grave.

The remaining main characters go on a mission to find something to destroy the McGuffin so they don't explode too. They find a scientist to explain the physics of explosions for 10 minutes and then the plot completely forgets about destroying the McGuffin. Out of nowhere, Nersh1rt comes back from her grave and is enraged that her friends pissed on her grave, but then the plot reveals that her other friends exploded, and those were actually fakes. Enraged, Nersh1rt picks up the Jellicle McGuffin and uses it to EXPLODE THE FUCKING MOON. Meanwhile, the civilians stare at their impending doom, and only when the debris is RIGHT ABOVE THEM, they start running away.

Out of nowhere, a slow motion shot of a helicopter exploding yeets into the script of the movie, which signals that the apocalypse is arriving. Michael Bay then steals the McGuffin and curses everyone to explode for eternity.

Nersh1rt abruptly learns the errors of her ways before she immediately explodes and comes back to life. She then learns the meaning of the universe and goes Supersaiyan. Everyone starts fighting for the Jellicle Mcguffin until Nersh1rt flies in and steals the Mcguffin and shouts YAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA UNTIL THE MCGUFFIN DUCKING EXPLODES.

The debris of the moon completely destroys Earth and then the Miraheze editors inexplicably come back to life again and then they become the Ultimate Pillars of the Fricking Multiverse.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) It wasn't screened in adva- Nope, you already know what I'm about to say.
 * 2) The title. JUST FUCKING LOOK AT IT!
 * 3) The plot is stupid. It's just a few Miraheze users (except the vandals, Spongebuff1991, and a few others) getting drunk and/or high and then acting like idiots before Nersh1rt dies from being vaporized in a Michael Bay-style explosion.
 * 4) * Speaking of Michael Bay, this film seems to focus more on explosions than the plot even though it was not directed by Michael Bay.
 * 5) False advertising: Nersh1rt is only dead for 10 minutes! Then she suddenly appears out of thin air alive again after those 10 minutes are up.
 * 6) Awful acting from everyone.
 * 7) Stupid plot twist: It is revealed that everyone else was dead the whole time and Nersh1rt is alive.
 * 8) The plot makes absolutely makes no sense, because everyone kept dying and kept being ressurected again.
 * 9) 50% of the runtime is people stealing the Jellicle McGuffin. So many people steal the McGuffin that you won't even know who has it anymore.
 * 10) This sets up DUH COOLEST MUVIE IN DA WORLD!!1!!!1, a prequel to this movie. It's trying to make a cinematic universe, but it terribly fails.
 * 11) It runs for 96 minutes, which is just 69 backwards.
 * 12) Despite being a sequel to The Next Big Movie, it has almost nothing to do with the first film (besides a few references). None of the fictional characters or celebrities that starred in the first film re-appear in this one.
 * 13) The comedy is cringeworthy and unfunny.
 * 14) Abysmal soundtrack that was clearly done in MIDI.
 * 15) This movie tries way too hard to be edgy, especially by adding excessive profanity in every other sentence to the point it's annoying.
 * 16) Even everyone who was involved in this film admitted that it sucked.
 * 17) This movie overuses CGI in scenes where it's unnecessary.
 * 18) * The CGI is also cheap, lame, and amateurish. It looks like it came from a late 90s/early 2000s computer game.
 * 19) This film sparked controversy and was banned in some countries.
 * 20) No redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Redeeming Qualities
WE JUST FUCKING SAID THERE ARE NONE YOU BITCH!!!

Trivia

 * Nersh1rt has said in an interview that being in this movie was one of the most unpleasant experiences in her life.
 * Nersh1rt's clone made a little cameo in this movie, even though she died in the last movie.