Blog:Amusing vandalism on the GMW Sonic Movie page

Sonic the Hedgehog is a 2019/2020 film created by Paramount and SEGA that just... well, let's just put it this way: Completely and utterly ruined the imagery of our favorite titular blue blur, Sonic the Hedgehog, forever.

Why This Movie is Bad
It is literally the worst movie of all-time, ever. It's even worse than The Room! (And the numbers don't lie.)


 * 1) It features extremely inappropriate dog-on-hedgehog action and human-on-hedgehog action, yet the producers didn't even take a moment to acknowledge and fix that issue.
 * 2) It's completely CGI, not animated.
 * 3) The entirety of the cast (including the producers and the director) had no experience at all to create a movie about Sonic, while additionally being "all ratshit and just a bunch of assholes" who worked together to ruin a random character's history for all of eternity.
 * 4) The movie takes place on Earth, where no film has dared to take place in due to it being a ridiculous idea in the first place.
 * 5) The film literally has humans. In a film about Sonic the Hedgehog.
 * 6) The entire movie's dialogue is laughably idiotic. And example would be when Sonic says "I have no idea!".
 * 7) Grammar is extremely bad.
 * 8) All of the characters in the movie are completely unlikable.
 * 9) Most of the movie has gross-out jokes.
 * 10) They use bots, proven by their $500+ million and their thousands of nonsense reviews in just the span of 1 week.
 * 11) It's entirely a cringefest.
 * 12) There is an unused scene of Sonic sexually assaulting a woman before being arrested and sentenced for life in federal prison. Not even an exaggeration.
 * 13) Jim Carrey plays as the main antagonist, Dr. Ivo Robotnik. His scenes are barely even practical.
 * 14) Sonic's final design in the movie is just simply hideous! And it's all simply because he's atomically incorrect with the blue arms, disconnected eyes, and stubby nose.
 * 15) In the movie, Sonic as a baby is just as disgusting as when he's older.
 * 16) His teeth are revolting.
 * 17) Sonic claims that one of the things to do on his bucketlist is to have friends. Well, we know that's just a big fat lie. He doesn't deserve any friends.
 * 18) In one scene, Sonic teams up with a human.
 * 19) Sonic is too damn short!!
 * 20) In the movie, Sonic is an awfully childish dipshit.
 * 21) Paramount and SEGA have been requested many times to decline the release of the movie forever and/or fix Sonic's design to make him look exactly like Modern Sonic, the Sonic that we all loved to this day. They have repeatedly turned down both offers, leading to this kind and pleasant deviant/user to actually commit suicide. No joke.
 * 22) The humans in the movie aren't even dressed well; instead, they're all raggedy-looking.
 * 23) Insane amounts of violence. There's even one scene where Maddie's heart can be seen getting ripped out alive. We're not kidding.
 * 24) Paramount was the main bearer of shitty movies, getting worse year by year. And they still get their money somehow.
 * 25) The companies shoplifted stores together in 2012 to make it seem they've been earning money for releasing the movie.
 * 26) The cast has the worst taste in music. Speed Me Up was one of their biggest blunders.
 * 27) They've lied about their movie being great and #1 when what it really was supposed to be (and is in reality) is just garbage.
 * 28) They've denied all claims of putting a masturbation joke in the movie, yet it actually happened.
 * 29) Sonic is literally the only non-human character, making him stand out.
 * 30) In one scene, Sonic is shown with his penis. No joke.

Redeeming Qualities
Literally no redeeming qualities at all except:


 * 1) Before 2019, Sonic's design was created perfectly with no flaws to look into.

Trivia

 * Jim Carrey quit as a college English teacher to work on the movie full-time.