Blog:How NOT to make a page: The Epic Movie

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The Epic Movie SUCKS SO F*CKING HARD THAT IT MAKES US BARF AND IT IS WORSE THAN ADOLF HITLER AND OSAMA BIN LADEN AND IT DESERVES TO BE FORGOTTEN FOREVER AND IT CAUSED 9/11 AND THE CREATORS OF THIS FILM DESERVED TO BE ARRESTED AND F*CKING KILLED AND IT'S A MEGA PIECE OF SH*T!!!

Why It Sucks

 * 1) It sucks.
 * 2) It’s worse than Hitler.
 * 3) Nobody wanted this film.
 * 4) Horrible character designs for Disney characters. For example, we see Baymax's design (from Big Hero 6), have a face either a chin or a lip, which was messed up.
 * 5) None of the characters are likeable.
 * 6) Awful voice acting.
 * 7) Some of the moments are awful, such as Lisa singing and Donald's talking that thinks he was choking.
 * 8) Very ugly and weak visuals.
 * 9) Abysmal ending, where everyone (including Goofy and Donald) thinks that Mickey Mouse would show up, but it turns out that it was Bart, dressed as him. Not only that, but he also telling them to get back to work, and dragging Goofy away, while Barney drags Homer the other way.
 * 10) This film is extremely unfunny. And we mean extremely extremely EXTREMELY unfunny. It's so unfunny, it actually caused somebody to commit suicide.
 * 11) * Lincoln This page is stupidly serves chicken nuggets for funeral food leftovers, which is deeply one of the This page is stupidest things to come from an eleven year old boy who occasionally is the smartest in the Loud family (aside from Lisa), so of course they had to later write him just this This page is stupid in the later half of the movie.
 * 12) Diaper Hands.
 * 13) Boring and pointless slapstick.
 * 14) Lame action scenes that many films have done better.
 * 15) Horrendous dialogue, which made it sound like it was written by a one-year-old.
 * 16) Awful and lazy writing; especially compared to the previous films.
 * 17) Lacks a lot of wit and charm of the previous films.
 * 18) Lots of plot holes and filler.
 * 19) On the DVD box, there is a message that reads "your new favorite movie", which isn't true because NOBODY likes this movie AT ALL!
 * 20) Abysmal production values.
 * 21) Bad Editing.
 * 22) Atrocious CGI Animation, that looks like an old shovelware video game released for the PS1, PS2, Xbox, N64, GBA, GameCube, 3DO, mh:crappygames:Atari Jaguar, mh:awesomegames:Sega Saturn and mh:awesomegames:Dreamcast and also looks similar to Foodfight!, Music Fantasy Dream, the 1993-1999 VeggieTales videos, Elroy's Toy, A Car's Life: Sparky's Big Adventure, Imaginit, Popee the Performer, Zoo Wars, mh:terribletvshows:Gaither's Pond, mh:terribletvshows:The Groovenians, mh:terribletvshows:Butt-Ugly Martians, Strawinsky and the Mysterious House, Bratz, Fireman Sam since season 6,  the mh:terribletvshows:Nintendo Entertainment System "You Cannot Beat Us" Commercial, the mh:terribletvshows:McDonald's Pakistan commercials, Joshua and the Promised Land, mh:terribletvshows:Transformers: Energon, mh:terribletvshows:Ex-arm, Happily N'Ever After 2, Donkey Kong Country, mh:terribletvshows:Jay Jay the Jet Plane, mh:terribletvshows:Rayman: The Animated Series, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys, Whacked! and mh:greatestmovies:Hoodwinked! or something animated by Vídeo Brinquedo, Mh:terribletvshows:Xing Xing Digital, The Asylum, WowNow Entertainment, Splash Entertainment and Streetlight Animation.
 * 23) Surprisingly bad ending; especially compared to the first and previous three films.
 * 24) The soundtrack is CRINGEWORTHY AS HELL.
 * 25) Crappy poster design.
 * 26) No jokes or even comedy at all; compared to WIS #6.
 * 27) Forgettable and unoriginal moments.
 * 28) The film was in development for five years.
 * 29) Completely ignores the events of the previous films.
 * 30) Awful voice acting, especially for the CGI seagulls.
 * 31) Horrible sound effects.
 * 32) Fanboy and Chum Chum have extremely punchable faces.
 * 33) Muckledunk is such a stupid name for a town.
 * 34) Wastes the talents of Jason Drucker, Charlie Wright, Tom Everett Scott, Alicia Sliverstone, Joshua Hoover and everyone else.
 * 35) Manny wincing and crying is completely annoying.
 * 36) The infamous "Dat's how Digby do it!"
 * 37) This is a cash grab.
 * 38) Lots of padding.
 * 39) Certain scenes that drag on.
 * 40) Slow pacing.
 * 41) Greg screaming is completely annoying.
 * 42) Rodrick dosen't even feel like a musician.
 * 43) They fake the hero’s death trope twice!
 * 44) Norm doesn’t die at all!
 * 45) Terrible music score.
 * 46) Overused and pointless sequences that are dragged on for way too long.
 * 47) CarPlant Productions made this.
 * 48) The movie can get more darker than the previous films.
 * 49) It was not screened for critics.
 * 50) The film was also a box office bomb, compared to the first and previous three films.
 * 51) There is one scene where Charles throws a Mario game away after his mom told him to give up video games, which is incredibly insulting and disrespectful to the legacy of Nintendo! God, this film is awful!
 * 52) The film also seemed a lot closer to the books than the previous films were, which is bad.
 * 53) It even contains 70% of the original filmmakers from the previous films, which is bad.
 * 54) As mentioned before, the film is mean-spirited, heck, even for a PG movie, that's way too mean spirited, it almost took Ren and Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon’s mean spiritness to the next level.
 * 55) Perhaps the most infamous thing about this film is that Sonic seems to be blue armed instead of tan armed for whatever reason, despite being famous for nude-coloured arms in the video games.
 * 56) It has A LOT of psychopathic and demented portrayal in the characters.
 * 57) This movie gives David an awful image, it even makes David Smith a WORSE troublemaker than Violy Anderson, Andrew Biggson, Althea Andrea and Derek Watson combined.
 * 58) David's family is INSANELY unlikable in this movie. They show NO MERCY to their son, emotionally, mentally and even physically destroying him, to the point that he couldn't even be happy in his own way and would want to kill himself.
 * 59) *This probably ended up in David being HARSHLY heartbroken in this movie.
 * 60) Eric is acting like a total psychopath in this movie, giving his OLDER brother an UNFORGIVABLY long and EXTREMELY ridiculous grounding time with 1 and a heck ton of zero "lifetimes". How can he fricking live that long?!
 * 61) * He yelled at David to go to his room, never come out, and stay there until he dies. What is he gonna do there and you're really just going to hurt his feelings by yelling at him like that, aren't you?
 * 62) Eric is MUCH MORE unlikable than their parents, as he acts more psychopathic towards David than their parents. You do realize that you broke your older brother's heart by being so psychopathic towards him?
 * 63) David's grounding time is CRAZILY unfair for a very small reason.
 * 64) As stated in WIS#7 and 8, David's family possibly wanted their son to die, making his family VERY demented psychopaths.
 * 65) This film is a definition of how psychotic CarPlant Productions can be.
 * 66) As shown in WIS#1, David cannot be grounded as he is 38*. Which also shows that his family was treating their son like a manchild.
 * 67) The characters (except Max, his ex and David) are poorly made as shown in a previous reason, but David and his family's first appearance in MtaForReal's videos were also with the same characters, which possibly shows that CarPlant Productions is rushing their work when it comes to their films.
 * 68) This shows that Carplant Productions was whiteknighting Strawberry Nicholas, then later betrayed her.
 * 69) When Eric was telling David his grounding time, it was EXTREMELY long that David's crying was UNBEARABLY long that even peoples who hate him would feel sorry for him.
 * 70) Profanity flies here too. As Eric was swearing to David while he was getting grounded, which was part of hurting his feelings.
 * 71) As stated in WIS#6, WIS#7, WIS#8 and WIS#10, David's family wanted him to DIE. Absolutely heartless and they possibly WANTED TO KILL THEIR OWN SON as shown on how they shooked him to go to his room.
 * 72) * This shows that Max was portraying David's family to be brutally psychotic towards him.
 * 73) Aside from WIS#6, WIS#7, WIS#8, WIS#10, WIS#18, David's family was treating him like he's worse than Kim Jong-un.
 * 74) The film was Disowned because CarPlant Productions actually FIRED Strawberry Nicholas by acting like a Xenophobe towards others. But this movie is still known for it's psychopathy.
 * 75) This films is basically Adult Abuse, as they are psychotically abusing a 38 year old.
 * 76) To add insult to injury, this film nearly makes The Emoji Movie and Norm of the North combined look like masterpieces.
 * 77) Eric said 1 and SEVENTY-SEVEN zeros, which would mean that David got grounded for 100 QUATTUORVIGINTILLION LIFETIMES . Which is an EXCRUCIATINGLY long time and not even Mh:AtrociousYoutubers:OfficerPoop247 would go that far.
 * 78) This film also makes Freddy Got Fingered look like a complete masterpiece. Heck, not even Vídeo Brinquedo would make a film this awful.
 * 79) Nothing really happened after David got grounded. For all we know, David could've killed himself after getting grounded!
 * 80) The Original Robin is the worst Robin of all.
 * 81) Both Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider star in this movie.
 * 82) A sequel has been planned! (lets go protest at CarPlant Productions right now!)
 * 83) None of the characters are likeable; compared to reason 13.
 * 84) It ultimately killed the art of animation! Let that sink in.
 * 85) The whole movie just feels bland.
 * 86) It brought the Philippines to shame.
 * 87) Walt Disney, Stephen Hillenburg, and Stan Lee must be rolling in their graves knowing this atrocity exists.
 * 88) Very misleading title: Despite being called The Epic Movie, there is very little Epic-ness in this film at all! Instead, it's mean-spirited, disgusting, unfunny, boring, immature, very childish, dramatic, idiotic, way TOO slice-of-life, nonsensical and cringe-filled, that it makes FoodFight! look decent in comparison.
 * 89) *Also, the entire film is a rip-off of the Lego Movie.
 * 90) No redeeming qualities of any kind, just like with Justin Beiber, Jake Paul, Logan Paul, Donald Trump, and Caillou (both the show and the character).