Blog:Cars 5: Strangcar Things Kids Practice Autoerotic Asphyxiation

Cars 5 is a 2030 movie that is notorious for its offensive nature and portrayal of modern media.

Plot
Because of drug abuse, time hasn't been kind to Lightning McQueen. His body has been paralyzed and he uses a computer that judges his eye movement that says all the wrong things. It ends up saying all airplanes are terrorists, and people start to think that about them. Fifteen years later, Lightning is now dead and a show called Strangecar Things is out. The actors eventually get older and the males start masturbating. But after they do it in a dangerous way that kills them, airplanes are once again blamed for this, and the President calls all planes to die.

Why The Planes Should Crash Into The Studio Instead

 * 1) This movie was supposed to be a commentary on what's wrong with Hollywood and American Politics. Instead, it was executively meddled up until the point where they treat it like a dumb joke and gloss over it.
 * 2) For some reason, people are planeist just because they thought McQueen was one, not because of 9/11.
 * 3) Zero IQ Move: President Vehicleman is stupid for declaring war on the planes, they will easily win over the cars. But they don’t at the end because of a plot device.
 * 4) The movie is very boring. It’s endless battling and nothing else, and makes the fourth movie look like Citizen Kane.
 * 5) More shitty songs from 12 year old SoundCloud rappers.
 * 6) * Last time, they at least got professional artists to make the songs, not these stupid Fortnite addicts!
 * 7) Speaking of music, Ramone (the car with paint jobs), was apparently in The Ramones (the punk band) despite all of the members being dead.
 * 8) Elon Musk is put in the movie for no reason.
 * 9) At the end of the movie, the planes should’ve won, but noooo, there has been a nuke all along! All the planes die, but all the cars don’t, that makes NO SENSE AT ALL!!!!
 * 10) This movie was so shitty, the sixth movie (except for the beginning), completely ignored it existing!
 * 11) Do not let the low number of reasons for WTPSCITSI fool you, this movie sucks ass, it’s boring, confusing and stupid, don’t watch it or a plane will crash into your house.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) It eventually ends.