Blog:Aliens from Planet 666 (Fake Movie Dready :) )

Note: yes you can read the fricking title, this movie ain't real, so don't take this shit seriously

Aliens from Planet 666, is a 1999 british, jamaican, egyptian-themed action comedy movie directed and written by JKL and was distributed by Crap Distribution UK, and it was inspired by, many egyptian and religious tales.

Why it Sucks

 * 1) It's not screened in advance for critics which… Bullshit! i told you this alot, you know that right?!
 * 2) False advertising, despite the title, the movie is egyptian themed and not themed after Hell, WHICH MAKES ABSOULUTELY NO SENSE!
 * 3) Ugly alien costumes that gives The Garbage Pail Kids Movie a run for it's money!
 * 4) Terrible acting, where the characters move like they're drunk, and talk like they're on drugs.
 * 5) It has dumb ideas like: Ducks with dicks, bulls with tits and THE MOST INFAMOUS!!!! ALIENS WITH VAGINAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 6) The cgi effects are absoulutely abysmal and complete crap, that looks like it was made from a budget PS1 or an Sega Saturn game.
 * 7) Terrible, jokes that rely on sex jokes, toilet humor, rape, and even PROSTITUTION!!!!!
 * 8) Unfunny and cringeworthy dialogue, like anything else from JKL it's filled with swearing, for example in one scene: $)%(#)%)#%=)(#)=%$(")=($)=" (translated to Cock-Sucker) says #$/")(/#)(!/#("/($/!#/"!#/( (Translated to: Fuck'em all boys, we're gonna shit on they're shit with they're shit on the shit gravy!!!!) WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS PEOPLE!!!!!
 * 9) The movie is so innapropiate that they gave people who watch it in theaters eye cover masks, to hide themselves from inapropiate content.
 * 10) Really low budget only 200$ dollars in total.
 * 11) The're are some scenes that go on for so long for no reason, for example there's a long scene where Jeedo pukes on a barfing bag for 13 straight minutes, we are not fucking kidding!
 * 12) Terrible editing for example in the battle of the gods scene, everytime there's a thrilling moment it cuts to a peacful moment, or a comedy show moment or even A LONG SEX SCENE!!!!!!!
 * 13) The infamous scene where an alien with vagina RAPES CLEOPATRA!!!!!
 * 14) The aliens all talk in fake alien language for example the Word come of as this: "$"(E)=)QFD)?QWDF)?WQJ)?"J)?$J"?)j and they are always subtitled, yet most of the times it ends nonsensical swear words, with terrible jokes.
 * 15) Product placements for: Sega Dreamcast, Pepsi, Chex and Chuck E Cheese.
 * 16) Horrible soundtrack that sounds like it was recorded by people who don't know how to play instruments.
 * 17) An out of place came for: Charles Martinet (the voice actor for Super Mario), Gilbert Gottfried and Bruce Dickison (the lead Singer for Iron Maiden).
 * 18) There's a scene where everyone pees in the lake of Nill, W....T.....F! :=(
 * 19) Oh yeah, have drinking game, take a shot everytime where there's a scene where a character pees, guess how many of them they are 999 WE'RE NOT FUCKING JOKING!!!!!
 * 20) Infact the movie was so bad, that it not only makes Asses Underwater look more beliavible, but it was pulled form theaters only a week after it was released, this is because the movie is extremely innaapropiate.
 * 21) There isn't a poster for the movie at all!
 * 22) The ending is obvious sequel-bait, an pharaoh atem opens which reveals an eye of doom that Will gave birth to bigger evil, well guess what???? it never continued because it sucked!
 * 23) Has nothing to do with the number 666 whatsoever.
 * 24) The movie was infamous for it's DVD Cover, because it showed a vagina WITH AN ALIENS FACE ON IT!!! WE'RE NOT KIDDING.
 * 25) Speaking of that Some DVD copies have al long SEX SCENES WHERE THE ALIENS ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER MORE AND MORE THAT IT BECOMES EXTREMELY OUT OF PLACE AND WILL MAKE YOU PUKE FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!
 * 26) Has no redeeming qualities or anything else :(

Redeeming Qualities
WTF!!! I TOLD YOU THE'RE ARE NONE REDEEMING QUALITIES SO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!

Reception
Like many other JKL movies with was universally panned, however it was slightly better than the previous holding only a 2% on Rotten Tomatoes with a consensus stating: From it's dumb ideas to it's terrible perverted comedy, the movie should go to hell or be locked in a mummy's tomb rather than being watched by the public, on metacritic it hodls a 11/100 indicating overwhelming dislike and on IMDB it holds a 2.1 out of 10.

Box Office
The movie only grossed (get this!) 30$ against it's 200$ Million dollar budget being a massive BOMB!

Trivia

 * JKL wanted to make this movie for a while, but was busy making Asses Underwater instead.