The Animal

The Animal is an ill-fated 2001 comedy film from Columbia Pictures and Revolution Entertainment starring Rob Schneider (who co-wrote the script with Tom Brady).

Plot
Marvin Mange is an awkward, clumsy nice guy who dreams of being a police officer like his father was. He continuously attempts to pass the physical test to become a full-fledged police officer, but despite his repeated attempts, he is unable finish the obstacle course. Marvin gets constantly mistreated by Sgt. Sisk.

One day, while alone at the station, he receives a robbery call. With no other officers responding to the call, he attempts to take it himself, but ends up driving off the road, tumbling down a mountain and seriously injuring himself. When the car finally comes to a stop, he passes out.

Days later, Marvin returns to his normal life with no memory of what had happened. Suddenly, he's full of life. He can outrun horses, mean dogs are now scared of him, and he does not need his asthma medicine. He thinks it is due to his late-night TV purchase of "Badger Milk", which is guaranteed in the ads to make him stronger.

One day at the park, Marvin meets Rianna Hummingbird while she's out walking dogs. His animal-like tendencies are slowly taking him over. When a frisbee is thrown in his direction, he cannot control himself, and he jumps to catch it in his mouth.

He goes to the airport to talk to his friend, Miles the security guard about his problem. While there, Marvin sniffs out a man trying to hide heroin in his rectum. For uncovering a drug smuggler, Marvin is declared a hero and is made a full-fledged police officer.

As days go by, Marvin's animal instincts are becoming stronger. He often wakes up in strange places, and subsequently, hears about animal attacks that occurred in the middle of the night. Because of these attacks, Dr. Wilder believes that Marvin is out of control. The mad scientist confronts him, takes him to his laboratory, and explains about the grafts and transplants that saved and changed Marvin's life, and gave him remarkable animal powers with certain problem side effects.

Later at a party thrown by the Mayor Marvin chases after a cat and destroys everything around him and is fired on the spot. During his reprimand, he hears something, jumps into the nearby lake and rescues the mayor's son using powers derived from a sea lion and a dolphin. He is swiftly reinstated.

Chief Wilson questions Marvin about the late-night attacks on farm animals, because one of witnesses made a police sketch—and it looks like Marvin.

Rianna goes to Marvin's house, where he has barricaded himself inside. They spend the night together, but Marvin wants to be tied up so he cannot hurt anyone anymore. In the morning, he finds himself untied, courtesy of Rianna. Suddenly, the police show up outside. Another attack had happened that night, and the police have come for Marvin. Rianna convinces him to run.

Marvin escapes to the woods, where a huge chase ensues. The police have organized an angry mob into a search party to catch Marvin. While running through the woods, Marvin finds Dr. Wilder. The scientist tells him that there was another "patient" of his that is out of control, and he is in the woods looking for it.

Sergeant Sisk confronts Marvin, and is about to shoot him. Suddenly, the other "animal" jumps from a tree and knocks Sisk down. The beast is Rianna. Now, the crowd finds them both together but Miles is there, and takes the blame for everything. He has been claiming that there is reverse discrimination with him since he's black, and that no one wants to hold him accountable for anything. Sure enough, once the mob thinks a black man was responsible, they don't care anymore, and leave.

Marvin and Rianna get married, and have a litter of children that each look like Marvin. While watching television, they see Dr. Wilder win the Nobel Prize. He says he owes it all to his fiancée, who is the same woman from the Badger Milk commercial. When she turns around to kiss him, there are large scars shown on her back, implying that Wilder performed the experiment on her as well.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Cringe-worthy stock footage/product placement on the TV.
 * 2) The main character is pathetic, as Schneider's character gets bullied by a bunch of kids and wrote "loser" on his shirt.
 * 3) This (alongside with Rob's other movie, The Hot Chick) is nothing but a pitiful rip-off of Mr. Bean (He even looks like Bean himself).
 * 4) A disgusting moment where Marvin drinks chunky milk, which is hard to watch. He can get sick when he drinks it. The fake chunky milk he drunk is actually whipped cream.
 * 5) Offensive ghetto stereotypes.
 * 6) The Poster/DVD cover is hideously nightmarish and rips off the poster for the first Crocodile Dundee film.
 * 7) The very creepy scene where Marvin tries to hit on a goat.
 * 8) A pointless ending that tries to set up for a sequel but never come to full fruition (thankfully).
 * 9) Plot hole: Rianna is revealed to be one of the "experimental procedures" but has no scars to show for it. Nor does she show any telltale signs throughout the movie, nor recognize Marvin as a fellow freak. It seems like the writers "tacked on" the twist without fixing the rest of the movie for consistency.
 * 10) Noticeable continuity errors throughout the film.
 * 11) The concept of a police station evidence clerk who is critically injured and is put back together by a mad scientist who transplants animal parts, resulting in strange changes to his behavior is just plain nonsensical.
 * 12) Cringe inducing humor.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The film is dedicated to Rob's father Marvin Schneider.
 * 2) There are some actual funny quotes:
 * 3) * The quote “That’s a huge bitch” from Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo can be heard.
 * 4) * Adam Sandler saying “You can do it” as a townie.