Blog:Jar for Wimps (Fake Movie Dready:) )

Note: Well ya know this is a fake movie blog, just by reading the title just don't take it seriously do i have to tell you anything else?

Jar for Wimps: is a 2014 Errotic Drama film Directed by JKL and was released on summer of 14th of July in 2014 and it was released both to critical and commercial failure.

Plot
A wimps finds a jar that changes his life around, and gets to sexisland.

Why it Sucks

 * 1) The movie is not screened in advance for critics which......................... :( :( :( :( =:( Just ignore this fucking shit, you know it already let's talk about something else.
 * 2) It is completely poorly written, it suffers from an uneven plot with laughable dailogue jokes (With tons of swearing), and settings.
 * 3) Who names they're island SexIsland?!
 * 4) Poor Acting, with souless dead expressions.
 * 5) Poor soundtrack that does not fit into it's right scene.
 * 6) JKL is a complete idiot, he thought this movie would gros 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.9999999999999999999999999999999$ Worldwide due to it's adult nature, Dream on JKL Dream on it will never happen, infact this was considered his worst movie he has directed until Rastafarian Man in 2020 to even worse reception.
 * 7) There's a scene from JKL's Debut movie Screw The Pigs for no reason.
 * 8) Way too much Sex scenes, infact this actually overpasses from all his other movies even Rastafarian Man! and Asses Underwater, and they also are on par with The Room (2003)!
 * 9) Cringe inducingly laughable dialogue E.G in one scene Ted says You're so Fucking Sexy ya Bitch!, which is just not funny.
 * 10) The characters wear way too much: Latex and BSDM wear, which is terrible.
 * 11) Infact the Main Character Bill is not even a Sex offender nor a wimp he is actually a convicted killer he kills everyone by Shooting them, Backstabbing them Drowning them on Pools or anything that has water, pushing them from high heights or pretty much anything, WHAT WE'RE THEY THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????
 * 12) The characters are all unlikable they all suffer from the same exact flaws: Sex Offenders, Perverts, and just Drug ADDICTS!!!!! (JKL, stop adding these stereotypes or sort of people in you're movies!)
 * 13) The infamous flying Farting Pigs With Demon Wings, WHICH IS STUPID!!!! (although not as grotesque as: Aliens With Vaginas from his other two movies).
 * 14) Unessecary characters that are only there to pad out the cast.
 * 15) Has way too many pop culture refrences to: Dragon Ball, Uglydolls, My Little Pony, Madagascar, Scream, Jaws, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Indipendence Day, ETC
 * 16) Terrible Action scenes, with awful editing, changing scenes for no reasons.
 * 17) It's so bad it not only made the previous movies he made look more fun, but it's also completely hard to sit through, infact the move was banned in some regions when it was about to be released on DVD's and Blu-Ray's.
 * 18) They included a scene in some TV versions that is offensive to people with Seizures.
 * 19) The Unrated cut is 129 minutes long with so many unnecesarily long sex scenes.
 * 20) The budget was so low, look at the budget on the top in the infobox.
 * 21) Pointless Akwardness that doesn't seem to stop.
 * 22) Product PLacements for Playboy.
 * 23) There is even a scene where A DOG RAPES A CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FRICK IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 24) Another is the nude pool, where everyone is swimming naked.
 * 25) Cheap and uncomftrable camera angles.
 * 26) There are even scenes where characters graphically SLURP DICKS AND TITS.
 * 27) The infamous COW WITH SO MANY TITS AND MONKEYS WITH SO MANY ANUSES WE ARE NOT KIDDING!!!
 * 28) Abysmal ending where our main protagonist and his love intrests are tied to a water bed and than they make a hole on it and start drowning while kissing, which is really stupid.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Like Asses Underwater it managed to get a bizzare Cult Following and mentioned that the ending is almost as weird as the ending in the room.
 * 2) The ending song is very beautiful.

Reception
Critical Response It was panned by Critics holding a 1% on Rotten Tomatoes with a consensus Stating: Berfeit of Erroticness and unfunny BDSM Latex content, the movie is not for anyone and it's only to attract the Pervs. On Metacritic it holds a 3/100 Indicating Overwhelming DIslike and on IMDB it has a 0.5 out of 10. For a while this was considered to be JKL's worst movie until Rastafarian Man was Released in 2020 to even worse reception often saying it makes this and his other movies look like Masterpieces and legendary by comparison. Box Office it only grossed 100$ against it's 300$ budget making it both a massive bomb and dissapointment due to JKL Expecting to make more than 9999999999999999999999.999999999999999999999$.