Blog:Blazikeye535 himself (waterpost)

Blazikeye535 (formerly Seewater514 and DeciduousWater534) is a shitfuck from Florida.

WHY HE SUCKS MORE THAN A PROSTITUTE!!! (and probably swallows too)

 * 1) He is a Florida man, which means he is a complete lunatic. Some examples include:
 * 2) *Throwing a chicken at a Wendy's cashier just because they forgot to include chocolate in his cheeseburger.
 * 3) *Trying to "yeet" a group of old people to the "294357th dimention".
 * 4) *Called the police on his grandmother because she ate the last pistachio.
 * 5) *Tried to rob the United Bank of Money with a squirrel.
 * 6) *Tried to attack Handsome Jack with a spoon, which caused him to get his eyes ripped out with the spoon.
 * 7) *Tried using an alligator as a Christmas tree.
 * 8) *EijiZeBoi called him out numerous times for his actions. Some examples include:
 * 9) **Stabbing a cow with a water bottle, which turned out to be his long lost twin brother.
 * 10) **Trying to sue BTS over loud and crazy fans at concert, even though BTS had no involvement in said concert.
 * 11) **Getting arrested after his "girlfriend" (who is actually his female character in Grand Theft Auto Online) had a dream where they had terrible sex.
 * 12) ***Wait, he has a girlfriend? HA, WHAT A SIMP!!!!!!!!!
 * 13) **Getting arrested after throwing an El Monterey bean and cheese burrito directly at his grandma's face, which broke her nose.
 * 14) *Because of these horrible crimes, he is wanted only dead in every galaxy.
 * 15) He caused me to stub my toe.
 * 16) Just like a boomer, he buys all of the toilet paper in stores.
 * 17) He has an IQ of 142 despite being a dumbcock, HOW DOES THIS PISSBRAIN HAVE A HIGHER IQ THAN ME!??!?!?!
 * 18) The only show he watches is Survivor, which has been been scientifically proven with facts and logic to be fake and gay.
 * 19) Likes Pokémon Sword and Shield, something ONLY BRAINDEAD PEOPLE AND MESUDA DICK-SUCKERS LIKE!!!!!!! LET THAT SINK IN!!!!!!!!!!
 * 20) *Despite liking the game, HE MADE A GREAT PAGE THAT CRITICIZED THE GAME, MAKING HIM THE ULTIMATE HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 21) *Wants the next Pokémon games to be "Pokémon Democrat and Republican".
 * 22) Also lieks Mudkips, going so far as to rank them as his favorite starter line of the entire Pokémon franchise. WELP IT'S OFFICIAL, THIS GUY'S WORSE THAN PALPATINE, JOKER, KEFKA, AND BILL CIPHER COMBINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 23) His favorite Borderlands character is Claptrap, even though he is supposed to be the worst character in existence.
 * 24) Idiotically believes everything Todd Howard says, this includes when he claimed that he was our lord and savoir Gabe Newell.
 * 25) Likes CNN and Donald Trump at the same time. THAT'S SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!! IT'S EITHER ONE OR THE OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 26) JUST LIKE COMPLETE BULLSHITTER, HE LOVES ALABAMA.
 * 27) Loves Complete Bullshit, and TheQuarterpounder, proving he's a conservatard.
 * 28) Also loves Michael Jackson, proving that he's a pedo bitch.
 * 29) Believes the Ice Age Baby did nothing wrong, despite the fact that he is responsible for over millinillions of deaths across the universe.
 * 30) Dislikes Jake and Logan Paul, the greatest YouTubers in the world with absolutely no flaws whatsoever.
 * 31) Eats french-fries with A FUCKING FORK!!!!!
 * 32) *Also eats ice cream in a cup.
 * 33) Doesn't mind what race, gender, or religion someone is, making him an SJW.
 * 34) Has over a thousand hours logged from playing Grand Theft Auto 5 and Minecraft, making him a no-life.
 * 35) Further proving that he's a no-life, he Watched the Shrek, Star Wars, and Harry Potter movies approximately 7,834,789,612,001,103 TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 36) Like a fool, he picked the wrong house.
 * 37) Called me a "vandalizing street hooligan".
 * 38) Hates Tom Hanks just because of how offended he looked during the 2020 Golden Globe Awards.
 * 39) Knows how to out Pizza the Hut, but doesn't want to tell anyone about it.
 * 40) Has a prank YouTube channel called "Tom Mato". BUT THE "PRANKS" ARE JUST HIM PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THEIR FACES AND THEN KICKING THEIR TESTICLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 41) Played Superman 64 and Sonic 06.
 * 42) Didn't participate in THE BEST MOVIE EVAH!!1!!!!11111!1!!!!!!1!.
 * 43) Likes to flex at boulevards with his Y E E E Z Y S.
 * 44) Owns every copy of Cars on the PSP.
 * 45) He's a simp, as he follows Anisa on OnlyFans and Belle Delphine on Patreon.
 * 46) Blames violence on video games, even claiming that the violent people use their consoles, controllers, and game copies as weapons.
 * 47) Is a shilling "epic gamer" who buys everything released by from EA, Activision, and 2K.
 * 48) Made a page about Bethesda, MY FAVORITE COCKING COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 49) Finds Big Smoke, Shrek, Biggie Cheese, Peter Griffin, Wario, Waluigi, Le Monke, Moto Moto, Thanos, fat CJ, King K.Rool, Bubble Bass, Big Chungus, Dr. Eggman, and King Dedede to be the most attractive fictional characters in history.
 * 50) DOESN'T FIND THE FACT THAT NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT OF ALL LIVING THINGS ON PANDORA AREN'T EXPLODING RIGHT NOW TO BE BULLSHIT!!! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!
 * 51) Believes Paul McCartney looks like an old lady. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 52) Has been reading heresy since the Hoomph.
 * 53) Loves 80s music, making him a complete nostalgiatard.
 * 54) Fruit, a type of food designed for retarded old people, is his favorite type of food.
 * 55) He has an obsession with traps. HA, GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 56) HE IS A SPECCY BOWL-HAIRED CUT FUCK SMALL DICK SKINNY CUNT EAT MORE WANKER.
 * 57) Is planning on renaming himself either "ArcticWater514" or "DeciduousWater514", proving that he is a water-type Decidueye (a lame ass Pokémon) that lives in the Arctic.
 * 58) *He renamed himself "Blazikeye535" instead!!!!! HOW DARE THAT LYING, NO-GOOD, TWO-BIT, BACKSTABBING, PIECE OF EGGPLANT SHIT DO SUCH AN UNHOLY ACT!!!!!!!!!!!

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) Has no interest whatsoever in anime, k-pop, and My Little Pony, meaning that he at least has a few functioning brain cells.

The Final Verdict
9/10

He has a little something for everyone.