Gods of Egypt

"Guys, I really don't know what to say, I really don't. Gods of Egypt blew me away, I am absolutely positive that this is the best worst movie I have seen in years."

- Chris Stuckmann

"Anybody who gives a shit about Egyptian mythology and these gods Horus, Set, Ra, Anubis, they would be fucking horrified that this is the way people see it in mainstream, this is how someone gets introduced to it."

- Angry Joe

Gods of Egypt is a 2016 Australian-American fantasy action movie directed by Alex Proyas, is the seventh and final film directed by Proyas, and is based on the ancient Egyptian deities. The film had its world premiere in Australia on February 25, 2016, and was theatrically released in the United States and 69 other countries on February 26, 2016.

Plot
Set (Butler), the god of destruction, usurps the throne of Egypt and plunges the empire into chaos. Horus (Coster-Waldau), the son of the murdered king Osiris, teams up with the wily thief Bek (Thwaites), and together, they must battle Set to save the world and rescue Bek's true love.

Why It's Not a God

 * 1) Thanks to all the problems mentioned below, the plot is a complete forgettable mess filled with clichés. The story itself is just an unoriginal "save the world"-type story that tons of other films have done before (and much better as well).
 * 2) *The story also includes the "rescue the damsel in distress" plot element as well, which has been far overused to death as well.
 * 3) *Throughout the story, Horus struggles to regain the powers that he has lost and regains them towards the end of the film, which is again another overdone plot element. The way he regains them, which was when he was falling to his death, is just a flat-out deus ex machina.
 * 4) There's plenty of illogical moments, such as the scene where Set took over Egypt. Absolutely no one tried to stop Set and his army despite being vastly outnumbered.
 * 5) Although the film is based on Egyptian myths, most of the cast is played by white actors with any actors of Middle Eastern or African descent relegated to minor roles. What's even crazier is that there isn't a single Egyptian actor in this film.
 * 6) *The makeup that the white actors use to make themselves look Egyptian is flat-out bad, as their skin tones are simply made more orange-looking.
 * 7) Cringe-inducing acting, with absolutely none of the dialogue feeling natural thanks to the acting.
 * 8) Most of the characters have British accents instead of Egyptian accents, which doesn't make any sense.
 * 9) All of the characters are forgettable, with one of the biggest problems being that the characters end up being too similar to characters from other movies. There's also no impact whatsoever whenever a character dies because of how generic they are, and none of the characters (except Horus) have any sort of development throughout the movie.
 * 10) *Bek is a stale knock-off of Aladdin, as he has a very similar design and backstory to said character.
 * 11) *Set, the main antagonist, constantly gives off terrible one-liners in an attempt to try and make him look like a jerk to root against. These one-liners end up making him similar to Mr. Freeze from Batman & Robin in a bad way, as both villains become difficult to take seriously as a result of their dialogue.
 * 12) *Zaya, Bek's girlfriend, is as generic as a damsel in distress can get.
 * 13) Despite being literal gods, the gods in this film are not portrayed that powerful at all. They're just simply twice the size of a normal human being and have a few superpowers, which makes them feel more like comic book heroes than actual gods.
 * 14) *To make the most of their powers, the gods have to transform into their true forms, which just makes them feel that much weaker. Most of their true forms are overly metallic and obnoxious designed.
 * 15) Despite having a decent budget, the films are filled with cut-rate and completely unconvincing special effects that look no better than a movie in the early 2000s. What's worse is that the movie is extremely over-the-top with the special effects as well, having to include them in almost every single part.
 * 16) Flimsy writing and dialogue, with every character needing to give out at least one one-liner during the movie, doesn't help in making the characters stand out from each other.
 * 17) *The characters tend to say their one-liners at terrible and unfitting moments, such as spouting them when they're about to get badly injured or outright killed.
 * 18) Lots of inaccuracies to Egyptian mythology.
 * 19) The visuals are overly saturated, with most of the film's pallet making far too much use of the colors orange, yellow, and brown.
 * 20) The pacing is extremely erratic, which causes the entire film to feel unnatural. For example, there are two scenes in the movie involving Bek solving puzzles, but there's no explanation as to how the puzzles work or how one is supposed to solve them. There is an absolute build-up to these puzzles either, ultimately making their roles completely forced and pointless.
 * 21) The fight scenes are poorly made, with the camera constantly moving (especially spinning around the scene) in every scene, and the aforementioned overuse of special effects making the fights completely fake feeling.
 * 22) There's a lot of scenes that try way too hard to be funny, but the humor isn't funny at all and falls flat every time.
 * 23) The film also tries way too hard to be action-packed, smart, and cool thanks to the overuse of action scenes and CGI and how those scenes are handled.
 * 24) The film's length is two hours and seven minutes, which is too long for a bareboned plot with very few ideas. This as a result stretches the plot too thin, resulting in filler scenes and making the film more uneventful.
 * 25) Not very good direction by Alex Proyas, who directed mh:greatestmovies:The Crow, mh:greatestmovies:I, Robot and Knowing, which are all way better films than this.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Despite the overuse of CGI, there are a few parts where the effects and visuals look fairly decent.
 * 2) Thanks to all of the film's problems (especially the terrible acting and effects), the movie can be unintentionally hilarious to watch.
 * 3) The poster looks cool.

Reception
Gods of Egypt was heavily panned by critics and audiences alike, and is considered one of their least favorite films of 2016. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a critic approval rating of 15% (with an average rating of 3.7/10), and an audience approval rating of 37% (with an average score of 2.8/5). On Metacritic, the film has a Metascore of 25/100, and a user score of 4.5/10.

Chris Stuckmann gave the film a "big fat fucking" F, admitting that he found the entire film humorous because of how bad it is. Stuckmann later ranked the film at #9 in his Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016 list. Jeremy Jahns considers the film to be "dogshit" jokingly calls the film "Gods of Awful", and ranked it #1 in his Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016 list. Angry Joe initially gave the film a 2/10 but raised the score to a 3/10 because of how entertainingly bad it was.

The director of the film has shown to handle any criticism towards the film poorly, calling the critics "diseased vultures pecking at the bones of a dying carcass".

The film was a box office bomb, grossing $150.6 million against a budget of $140 million. Lionsgate lost around $90 million because of how badly this film flopped.

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