The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

"Ah, yes VeggieTales! The Christian cartoon series originally marked itself as "Sunday morning values and Saturday morning fun". Yet surprisingly managed to attract Christians, Atheists, and Agnostics alike."

- Your Clairy Godmother

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (also known as The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything) is a 2008 American computer-animated family adventure comedy film directed by Mike Nawrocki, written by Phil Vischer, produced by Big Idea and Starz Animation and distributed by Universal Pictures. It is the second theatrical film to feature characters from the VeggieTales video series following mh:greatestmovies:Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie in 2002.

The film premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on September 5, 2007, and was released in theaters on January 11, 2008, and received mixed reviews from critics, who criticized the script but praised the animation. The film was also a box office bomb, grossing only $13 million worldwide on a $15 million budget.

Plot
In the past, the pirate Robert the Terrible attacks and boards one of the Kingdom of Monterria's ships, capturing Prince Alexander. Eluding the pirates, Princess Eloise and her servant Willory (played by Archibald Asparagus) send a device that the king made, called a "Helpseeker," to find heroes to save Alexander.

In modern times, three misfits: the "yes man" George (Pa Grape), the lazy Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt), and the timid Elliot (Larry the Cucumber) are employees at a dinner theater. Although they want to be seen as heroes by their loved ones, as lowly cabin boys they think their dream is unattainable. After wrecking the show one night, they are fired and thrown into an alley. The Helpseeker locates them and, after Elliot activates the device, transports the trio to Monterria.

Meeting the Princess and Willory, the group sets off to Jolly Joe's Tavern where they learn that Pirate Robert, the brother of the king before being banished, has kidnapped Alexander in the hopes of exacting revenge on the king. Setting sail in search of the whereabouts of Robert's hideout, the pirate's men capture Eloise and Willory. As George and Elliot continue on their quest, a cowardly Sedgewick decides to stay behind in a cave filled with "cheese curls". After the two leave, Sedgewick discovers the curls are instead living worm-like creatures which chase him out of the cave, forcing him to overcome his fear and laziness.

Meanwhile, George and Elliot arrive on an island populated by a rock giant family, who help them make it to Robert's fortress. Sedgewick meets up with them, having swam the ocean being chased by the living worm-like creatures. Arriving at a hidden bay outside of the fortress, the trio is attacked by a giant serpent. However, Elliot realizes the guardian is actually a mechanical device and is able to shut the machine down from inside and save the two. Once inside, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot rescue the prince and princess but are confronted by Robert who demands to know when the king is coming back. With no other choice, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot admit that they are "only cabin boys," and not heroes. But, suddenly, finding his self-respect, George uses a chandelier to knock the pirate down and the group escapes through the fortress's cistern with Robert in hot pursuit. Back in the bay, Robert's ship opens fire on the group's small boat. The king arrives, sinks Robert's ship, and rescues the group.

After receiving medals from the king and being declared heroes, the Helpseeker returns Elliot, George, and Sedgewick to the restaurant. Unbeknownst to them, Robert has stowed away on their trip back to get revenge on them for defeating him and attacks the dinner theater set and mistakes Sir Frederick (Jimmy Gourd), one of the stage performers, for George. In a final showdown, the trio defeats Robert and sends him back to his own time. The audiences cheer wildly as the gang earns the respect they had desired. Offered a second chance to be in the show, the three refuse and leave to pursue adventure elsewhere one more time as the Helpseeker blinks once again. The film ends with the entire cast singing "Rock Monster", a parody of The B-52's' hit "Rock Lobster". Once they are done singing, Bob the Tomato finally makes his appearance, as the director. Later, Robert is arrested by the King for his crimes as he is shown dancing to the music during the credits along with his imprisoned minions.

Bad Qualities
NOTE: Some of the problems were carried from the first VeggieTales movie, Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie.
 * 1) To get the elephant out of the room, Once again, the film is inferior to VeggieTales and the main problem with this show is that some of the characters are mostly either bland and/or unlikable, due to being mediocre written. Some of the characters end up making a whole cast of mediocre and overall boring-ness of a show since they receive very little to no character development at all.
 * 2) *The main titular character, Larry the Cucumber (also known as Elliot), who is afraid of almost everything and has a very extensive record of his greatest fears, which he calls his "list". Although Elliot fears confrontation, dark rooms, and a whole lot more, he will meet his "list" head-on when he is selected for the biggest adventure of his very sheltered life and on the quest to save the princess and defeat Robert the Terrible. Is it familiar to you?
 * 3) *At the beginning of the movie, Robert the Terrible destroys one of the Kingdom of Monterria's ships and captures Prince Alexander. Eluding the pirates, Princess Eloise and her servant Willory (played by Archibald Asparagus) send a device that the king made, called a "Helpseeker", which is a weak start to the movie.
 * 4) *George Jr. (Pa Grape) can be a Karma Houdini sometimes, who is the son of George and Caroline and brother of Lucy. George Jr. likes to go to the dinner theater, where his father George works as a cabin boy. He is quite impressed with the acting, especially in Sir Frederick. George is often jealous of this, but George Jr. looks up to his dad when he saved Sir Frederick's life. He appears again in "It's A Meaningful Life as a set of twins.
 * 5) *Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt) is an unlikeable character sometimes just like mh:loathsomecharacters:Eliot Kid.
 * 6) Misleading Title: Despite it being based on the song of the same name, they do anything in this movie.
 * 7) *Also, if you look closely at the logo, you can see a generic pirate font and a reused tagline A VeggieTales Movie from the posters and the cover digital art poster.
 * 8) There are the product placements of TiVo, which is an American company that was known for its digital video recorders, introduced in 1999. And Cheetos, which was called Cheese Curls, which Elliot (Larry), George (Pa Grape) and Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt) went in the cave.
 * 9) Similar to Hey Arnold! The Movie, while the computer-generated animation is decent, it looks generic. This is especially the case for the ships, as mentioned above.
 * 10) Overuse of pop-culture references, particularly the film was trying to use the "The Curse of the Black Pearl'", "The Chronicles of Narnia" and "Three Amigos".
 * 11) Bland, mediocre, and boring production values, considering the film was originally called a direct-to-video film "The Bob and Larry Movie," where it would focus on how Bob and Larry met, and when they started VeggieTales, but it got only got a mainstream theatrical release at the last minute (Because Universal Studios wanted to turn the direct-to-video film into a theatrical film called "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie".), which didn't help release it.
 * 12) Misleading Poster: The Pirates, Alexander, and Eloise are setting sails and Robert the Terrible doesn't go to the top of the ship.
 * 13) *On top of this, the main poster looks like it's trying way too hard to be like the 2015 Sanrio Character Ranking poster and Snoopy Pirates sign by Universal Studios Japan.
 * 14) False Advertising:
 * 15) *One of the posters that Elliot, George Jr., and Sedgewick are holding and wielding their swords, but Elliot can only hold a sword, and George Jr. and Sedgewick never weld them in the movie.
 * 16) *On the second poster that Elliot, George Jr., and Sedgewick are relaxing in hammocks under the ship, But they actually never do it in the movie.
 * 17) Executive meddling: After Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie was released with mixed to positive reviews from critics, Phil Vischer wanted to make another one. He originally wanted to make a film titled "The Bob and Larry Movie," which would focus on how Bob and Larry met, and when they started VeggieTales. But this was scrapped because it involved humans and it was when the company was about to be in bankruptcy (Around the time Classic Media got the acquirements). Phil decided to write another film script involving the Pirates from the first film since everyone seemed to like them. According to Tim Hodge, this idea came about in late 2002 and was planned to be a direct-to-video release until Universal decided to distribute the film.
 * 18) Graciously bizzare sound effects.
 * 19) Characters such as Bob (who appears at the end), Junior, Laura, Khail and more are missing.

Good Qualities

 * 1) Decent direction by Mike Nawrocki, who also directed mh:greatestmovies:Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie and co-created VeggieTales.
 * 2) Awesome character designs especially Robert the Terrible.
 * 3) Good Ending: The cast sings "Rock Monster", a parody of The B-52's' hit "Rock Lobster", closing the film. Once they're done singing, Bob the Tomato finally makes his appearance, as the director. Meanwhile, Robert is arrested by the King for his crimes.
 * 4) It provides good morals like "Don't feel like heroes sometimes. But if you put your trust in God and help others, you will" and "Believe in yourself, even when things look dark or tough.".
 * 5) The pacing is probably good.
 * 6) Some likable characters in the movie are Robert the Terrible, Mr. Nezzer, and Wilory.
 * 7) * The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (Elliot, George, and Sedgewick) can be likable at times, especially for the finale.
 * 8) The final battle is amazing.
 * 9) The songs are catchy are listen to like No Yo Hero, What We Gonna Do?, Rock Monster and The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, despite the title is misleading.
 * 10) This is the first Universal animated film that was animated in CGI.

Reception
According to the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 43% of critics have given the film a positive review based on 35 reviews, with an average rating of 4.92/10. The site's Critics Consensus reads, "This Veggietale should please the youngest crowds, but the silly script will tire the more discerning viewer." At Metacritic, the film has a weighted average score of 49 out of 100 based on 13 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews". The film earned $12.7 million for Universal Studios out of an estimated $15 million budget. The film was released on DVD on October 14, 2008.

On IMDB, it has a score of 5.6.

Trailers
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Reviews
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