Blog:Age of the Crappies

NOTE: The following blog post is a joke. This is not a real movie. Age of the Crappies is an animated film by Elovonono Productions. It was released on August 11, 2016. It was directed by Nancy Paki and produced by Joe Naster. Due to the film's terrible quality, it was rejected in theatres and was released on DVD instead.

Plot
Mali from Planet Crappy and her friends go on an adventure to find Mali's long-lost father.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) While the story sounds interesting at first, it is done in the most boring way considering most of the film is just Mali and her friends walking around in circles again and again to the point where it is downright cliche and unfunny.
 * 2) Almost none of the characters have personalities, and even the ones that do, they have very few personality.
 * 3) The film somehow manages to get a villain. The villain is Teti, an evil alien who is mean to everyone for no reason whatsoever. He barely even talks to anyone, he just frowns at people suggesting that he doesn't like anyone.
 * 4) It somehow got a sequel.
 * 5) The film also has a final battle, or at least that's what people claim. The final battle is just Mali walking around and Teti kicking Mali for no reason. She eventually just punches Teti away from her.
 * 6) The only reason the film is 88 minutes long is because there are often pointless scenes shoved in.

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) While the characters aren't likable, they aren't really unlikable either, due to their low personalities. They're not that annoying. The only one who is somewhat likable or unlikable is the villain, Teti, and he's unlikable, although he's a villain so it's fair enough.

Reception
Age of the Crappies was panned by critics and audiences alike. On Rotten Tomatoes, it received a critic score of 5% and an audience score of 8%. The site's consensus states "Effort was barely put into this sad excuse of a film, especially considering how badly executed the plot idea is.". On Metacritic, the film has a 10 out of 100, indicating "overwhelming dislike". The film has a 1.5/10 on IMDb. CinemaScore gave it a "B-" on an A+ to F scale.