Shorts

Shorts (also known as Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock and released internationally as The Wishing Rock) is a 2009 Emirati-American comic fantasy family film written and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The entire premise is bland and uninteresting. It's just about a wishing rock that's gone wrong, and that's it, literally nothing new to it.
 * 2) The reason why it's called "Shorts" is because it's all told in short segments but yet plays the same story. However, they're all said out of order, a huge "no-no" in films.
 * 3) Once again, every young actor acts oddball and strange in this film, which is a common problem with every young actor film.
 * 4) The booger monster is highly disgusting and grotesque and could weaken your stomach. The transformation it has is probably the most disgusting scene in the film.
 * 5) There is a song that's all about Toby's enemy, Helvetica, only except the song just continuously repeats "Helvetica, Helvetica, Helvetica Black" over and over again, which is highly annoying and lazy at best.
 * 6) At one point, Loogie's brothers are seen playing Fable 2 (an Xbox 360 game) with PlayStation 3 controllers, which makes no sense, not unless, of course, they're using an emulator.
 * 7) Loads of nasty gross-out humor, such as Loogie getting pooped on by a dinosaur, as well as sending himself inside the alligator (yes, he jumped inside the alligator to get the rock) and came out with alligator spit all over him.
 * 8) At one point, Helvetica almost eats a fish alive, which can practically get you sick.
 * 9) Overuse of cartoon sound effects in a live-action film.
 * 10) The Block Box isn't even interesting at all. It's just one of the cliched objects that "can do everything."
 * 11) If any of the characters wished for everything to go back to normal and the rock would disappear, none of this movie would happen.
 * 12) The cinematography is ugly and dull.
 * 13) The beginning spoils the fact that Carbon Black is the villain of the film.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Good CGI, although it's poorly executed with the booger monster.
 * 2) The acting by the adult actors including James Spader are decent.
 * 3) The whole staring contest joke between the Blinker kids is funny.