Max Payne

"At this point, I would much prefer this Payne over that Payne anyday!"

- Nostalgia Critic

"I... don't like this movie. It's not that I hate it. It's that I really hate it!  I'll agree that at first the film didn't seem that bad, but it's like a tumor that just slowly grows and eats away at you.  There are some movies that you just love to hate but this isn't one of them.  At the end of the day, you're just drained and depressed.  The degree of incompitency present throughout this production is just staggering.  I really cannot understand how you screw this up this badly.  This is like the Bay of Pigs of movies.  The Michael Bay of Pigs if you will.  The fact that I actually bothered to sit through this just pisses me off.  This is a Why Have You Forsaken Me.  That's two out of ten."

- Kora of the MediaWhorz round table

Based on the widely beloved video game of the same name from 2001, Max Payne retells the story of Max Payne as he seeks to avenge his wife and child, and hunt down the conspirators creating a drug called Valkyre, but after one of his allies is killed, and the cops consider Payne to be the prime suspect. Now, Max mus hunt down the conspiritars and bring them to justice.

Why it's Payneful to Watch

 * 1) Mark Wahlburg's acting wasn't all that great. At least it's better than in The Happening.
 * 2) The cinematography is often sloppy and disjointed, and you sometimes have no idea what is going on.
 * 3) There is at times too much exposition that makes it hard for some viewers to keep up with
 * 4) Many scenes consist of Max just walking around, which pads out much of the movie.
 * 5) Gratuitous slow-motion, which is supposed to be reminiscent of its video game source material, but often doesn't feel like it actually belongs in the scene.
 * 6) *In fact, some of the instances of slow-motion end up being more aggravating than mind-blowing, like in the drug lab when Max bent over to shoot a henchman on the catwalk behind him.
 * 7) Physics seem inconsistent, as Max easily endures gunshots, but the gunshots he fires send his foes flying.
 * 8) It makes no sense for everyone taking the Valkyre drug to have the same hallucination.
 * 9) The climax is incredibly poor, with Max defeating the villain, BB, with a single gunshot, which just feels underwhelming.
 * 10) Sequel baiting at the end of the film.
 * 11) Large stretches of the movie go on without any significant even happening.
 * 12) Many characters that serve no purpose in the film

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Some of the sets are cool
 * 2) The flashback scene is a decent scene

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