Nukie

"If Troll 2 is the BEst Worst movie... what's the worst worst movie? I don't know, but if they ever made a documentary about the making of Nukie, it would be less depressing then if it were about dying children!"

- The Cinema Snob

Nukie is a 1987 South African film. Two aliens named Nukie and Miko land on Earth, and when Miko is kidnapped by the U.S. government, Nukie must rescue him.

Plot
Two aliens, Nukie and Miko, spend their time flying through space in the form of stars and looking for fun. The two come across the planet Earth and, while trying to survey the planet, get caught in its gravitational pull and end up crash landing. During the crash, the two are separated, with Nukie ending up in the African savanna and Miko falling into the hands of a Space Federation in the United States. Upon discovering Miko's crash site, the agency take the alien in to perform tests on him, while Miko cries out for Nukie. Miko reaches out to Nukie telepathically and informs him that he is being held captive in America. The head of the operation, Dr. Glynn (Lester C. Muller) sends Dr. Eric Harvey (Steve Railsback) to Nairobi to investigate the other crash site. During their experiments, the scientists discover that Miko is a being made of pure energy.

Nukie, meanwhile, begins to explore his surroundings, attempting to communicate telepathically with the animals he encounters to ascertain the location of America. The animals don't understand and – much to Nukie's frustration – run away. He then comes across two children, Tiko (Siphiwe Mlangeni) and Toki (Sipho Mlangeni), who seem to be able to understand Nukie. He asks them for their help with finding America, but they run off vowing not to tell anybody about what has happened.

In America, Miko is subjected to more painful testing to explore his physical makeup. Miko's brain patterns show images of the animals which Nukie sees, indicating that Nukie is transmitting his brainwaves to Miko. Nukie decides to rest in the shade of a tree, turning invisible as he does so. Tiko and Toki pass by and Nukie is awoken by a flock of birds, becoming visible once more. He surmises that his light beam transformer must be working once more, and he succeeds in flying. Landing near a stream, he tastes the water and notices his reflection, which he claims is different from usual.

As the Space Federation continue to experiment on Miko, Sister Anne (Glynis Johns) is contacted via radio to inform her that Dr. Harvey is on his way to her mission. She reports nothing unusual happening, and says that Dr. Harvey will not be expected. The next day, an earthquake strikes the tribal village, and subsequently the tribe breaks into the mission seeking shelter, but Sister Anne tells them to stay outside for their own safety. Nukie, meanwhile, comes across a talking ape who finally responds to Nukie, but he claims he does not America. Two hunters arrive and take aim at Nukie, but he freezes one of them and the other carries him back to the village where Dr. Harvey is arriving. The Corporal (Ronald France) attempts to shoot Nukie, but he teleports out of harm's way in time to save Tiko and Toki from a mountain lion. The boys then agree to help Nukie find America. Nukie attempts to commandeer Dr. Harvey's helicopter, but crashes it.

At the Space Federation, Miko has started to befriend the supercomputer, Electronic Digital Data Intelligence computer (nicknamed E.D.D.I), and convinces him to scan for Nukie. When this fails, Miko presumes Nukie is asleep. In the meantime, Dr. Harvey repairs the helicopter and takes off, tracking Nukie. Tiko and Toki are brought before Sangoma (Sam Ntsinyi) and the tribe and banished for bringing Nukie into their midst. Sister Anne is mortified, and tells the Corporal to go looking for them. Nukie finds the boys and asks why they were banished. When they explain, Nukie expresses disbelief and tells them to get some sleep. Back at the Space Federation, E.D.D.I berates the scientists' treatment of Miko.

Back in Africa, Tiko is bitten by a cobra and is taken back to the camp by Dr. Harvey, who has tracked them from the village. The corporal also arrives, and shoots Nukie with tranquilizers. The tribe then appear to carry Nukie's unconscious body back to the village despite Toki's protests. In America, E.D.D.I begins to rebel against the researchers, refusing to administer an injection, and the researchers threaten to report the problem to IBM. Toki (now referred to as Tiko due to a production error) tells Dr. Harvey and Sister Anne about Nukie's capture. Dr. Harvey makes to report the news, but Sister Anne refuses to allow this as it will invite outside interference. Meanwhile, E.D.D.I attempts once more to scan for Nukie, and manages to lock in on Toki. Miko asks Toki where Nukie is, and Toki replies that he may know where he has been taken.

Back in the village, the tribe has Nukie locked up in a cage, but the Corporal tells Sangoma that he is more valuable alive than dead. Toki sneaks up on the party and sneaks into the Corporal's truck as he makes off with Nukie. While at a nearby trading post, Charlie the Chimpanzee attempts to free Nukie, but it takes Toki to break him out. The Corporal finds Toki sneaking around and holds him at gunpoint as Nukie and Charlie escape. Shooting at Nukie's retreating figure, he alerts Sister Anne to his presence and she distracts him enough to allow Nukie to escape.

Nukie finds Tiko at the infirmary and heals him, then Toki and Charlie arrive. Toki and Nukie decide to leave Tiko to recover, and set off to find America. Meanwhile, Sister Anne attempts to contact Dr. Harvey, but finds out that Dr. Harvey has left for America and that the Corporal has been trying to sell Nukie. In America, Miko begs to be set free, claiming he will die if he does not go free. E.D.D.I attempts to free him, but cannot bypass the security system. Dr. Harvey arrives at the Space Federation but is told to return to Africa. Miko manages to escape with the help of Pamela Carter (Carin C. Tietze).

With Miko missing the project is now cancelled, and Dr. Glynn tenders his resignation. Back in Africa, Nukie and Toki manage to evade the Corporal, who drives off the edge of a cliff into a river while attempting to run them down. Nukie ends up in the river too, and falls over a waterfall. Toki finds Nukie badly hurt at the bottom, and is told to try to contact Miko. When this fails, Nukie suggests that the two of them try flying with Miko's help. They manage to fly some of the way, but Nukie collapses from exhaustion and crashes. Toki calls to America for help as Nukie lays exhausted.

Later, Toki is sat by some water and wishes for his family and friend as well as Miko and Nukie to be with him. Following his wish, Tiko, their mother and Sister Anne arrive. Tiko explains that Nukie is not a bad omen as the tribe claim, but a friend who is in need. Nukie then appears in his light form, and Dr. Harvey lands in his helicopter bringing Miko with him. Miko and Nukie move to greet each other and then inform the humans that they have to leave. Charlie the Chimpanzee asks to join them, and the three turn into balls of light and fly away.

Why It Needs To Go Home

 * 1) Like fellow mockbuster Mac and Me, this film is a ripoff of mh:greatestmovies:E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial.
 * 2) Wastes the talent of Glynis Johns.
 * 3) None of the actors in this film feel like they want to be there.
 * 4) Poor voice acting, Nukie and Miko's voices are very high-pitched.
 * 5) Despite traveling together, Nukie and Miko crash land thousands of miles apart from each other.
 * 6) Several plot holes:
 * 7) *It's never explained how Miko got captured. It just cuts to him right in Area 51, as well as never explaining how he gets out of the room he was tested in.
 * 8) *Nukie can somehow teleport, so why can't he just teleport to Miko? The same thing goes for Miko: Why can't he just teleport out of that testing facility?
 * 9) *Miko somehow finds Nukie on a random beach.
 * 10) Most of the time, the Nukie costume can't even blink its eyes in unison.
 * 11) The majority of the dialogue is just the aliens calling each other's names.
 * 12) Nukie has immense powers, such as being able to talk to animals, telekinesis, and freezing people. This basically makes him a Gary Stu character.
 * 13) Plot continuity errors, such as in one scene Miko is hypnotized into falling asleep; the next scene he's awake.
 * 14) Random acts of narration that come from nowhere.
 * 15) A "big-lipped alligator moment" dance scene.
 * 16) Seizure-inducing visuals on the computer's screen.

Reception
The film currently holds a 1.9/10 on IMDb, and has a 23% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and some even say that it's worse than Mac and Me.

Trivia

 * In France, this movie is known as Nukie et Miko (Nukie and Miko), possibly to cash in on Mac and Me.

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