Blog:The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (my version)

NOTE: This blog post is a half-joke.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is the worst film that was ever created. It makes Norm of the North look like the greatest film of all time. The film was cancelled before it was even released, but it is currently available on YouTube. It is an ultimate crime on humanity and should be forgotten.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) All the characters (except Max and Marissa) are spawns of satan and as a result are the worst characters ever made. They shall all rot in hell.
 * 2) Godawful visual effects, which look like dogshit.
 * 3) Shitty-ass dialogue, such as "He ruined my dream journal!" and the reply "I did not! Mr. Electric, send him to the principal's office and have him expelled!"
 * 4) Godawful and over the top acting, which is the worst sounds of all time.
 * 5) The film is extremely uncomfortable and stupid.
 * 6) As Nostalgia Critic says, the film keeps mentioning that it's 3D continuously, which is annoying.
 * 7) The story about Max going to a different planet is extremely unoriginal.
 * 8) Mind you, the planet looks like shit and is named "Planet Drool" which is a disgusting name.
 * 9) Stupid jokes, such as the Brainfart joke, which is just corny toilet humour.
 * 10) The movie is a crime on humanity.
 * 11) It was made for the director's son on his birthday. What a terrible birthday present!!!!
 * 12) At times there's outright creepy imagery.
 * 13) At the end of the movie, Marissa literally kills the Planet Drool alternate of her dad. Sure it was an alternate, but still...

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) Max and Marissa are decent characters.

Reception
Everybody hates it and it is a crime on humanity. It currently has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 0/100 on Metacritic, indicating "overwhelming dislike", and a 0.0 on IDMB.