User:Dominicmgm/sandbox

This is for articles that I am considering making for this wiki, but aren't fully fleshed out yet. Feel free to add WIS and RQ reasons, but do not make new sections for movies, as you can do that in your own sandbox.

User:Dominicmgm/sandbox/Pages That Will Never Happen

Up the Academy
Up the Academy (full title: Mad Magazine Presents Up the Academy) is a 1980 comedy movie directed by Robert Downey Sr. (father of Robert Downey Jr.). It is about four misfits at a military school.

Why it Sucks

 * 1) It's just another poor attempt to cash in on Animal House, except the misfits are now at a military academy instead of a college.
 * 2) It includes racist jokes in a non-ironic manner.
 * 3) There's swearing and sexual content, something MAD would not allow in their magazine.
 * 4) Even MAD came to hate it, with its editor demanding the removal to all references to the magazine in it and the magazine later parodying it in "MAD Magazine Resents Throw Up the Ecchedemy", which was cut short after two pages.

Trivia

 * A young Robert Downey Jr. appears in one scene as a soccer player.

Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?
Page released: Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?

The Open House
The Open House is a 2018 Netflix horror movie by Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote.

Synopsis
When they move into a new house, a teen and his mother find supernatural forces are out to threaten them.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Very slow and dull plot.
 * 2) Excessive padding, especially when the characters visit the house.
 * 3) Stupidly exploits the "nothing is scarier" trope to the point that it isn't even scary anymore.
 * 4) The characters are extremely flat and unrelatable.
 * 5) Most of the actor's performances are phoned in.
 * 6) Poor research: in one scene a character tries to phone 911 but discovers there is no SIM card, which is stupid since emergency calls often work without SIM cards.
 * 7) Weird soundtrack that goes all over the place, often rising when there's no scare whatsoever.
 * 8) There is no resolution or twist at all, making the whole film pointless.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Piercey Dallon and Dylan Minnette (from another bad Netflix product, 13 Reasons Why) give decent performances.
 * 2) The cinematography is alright.

Carry On Emmannuelle
Carry On Emmannuelle is the 30th film in the Carry On franchise. It is a parody of the softcore film Emmanuelle (notice the extra N in the title, this was to avoid copyright issues).

Between this and Carry On Columbus, it is considered the worst Carry On film.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) It effectively killed the Carry On franchise, with an attempted revival in 1992, Carry On Columbus, failing, confirming this franchise is dead.
 * 2) The "awful British sex comedy" jokes carry on (no pun intended) over from Carry On England and all the sex jokes aren't even funny.

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) The opening disco theme is nice,

The Underground Comedy Movie
The Underground Comedy Movie is a 1999 comedy movie by Vince Offer (yes, the same Vince Offer who sold the ShamWow).

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Horrific attempts at comedy.
 * 2) All the jokes revolve around disgusting subjects like necrophilia and homophobia.
 * 3) Poor writing.
 * 4) Essentially it's a ripoff of The Kentucky Fried Movie.
 * 5) Some of the sketches feel exactly the same, only with a new sentence added.
 * 6) Vince did a stupid publicity stunt by suing the creators of There's Something About Mary, claiming that 14 scenes were stolen from his film (despite that film being released a year before in 1998). The creators, of course, denied this.

Carry On England
Carry On England is the 28th film in the Carry On franchise, released in 1976.

It is considered one of the worst Carry On films, to the point that cinemas withdrew the original cut after three days.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Excessive nudity, to the point where the original cut received an AA (suitable for 14 years and over, the 1970s equivalent of 15) rating.
 * 2) Many of the classic Carry On actors are missing.
 * 3) Too many new actors overshadowing the established regulars.
 * 4) Terrible acting from even the regulars, who feel uninterested.
 * 5) Bad TV-like cinematography, which makes sense seeing as it was originally meant to be an episode of Carry On Laughing!
 * 6) It can't seem to be rooted in the early WWII era: aside from stock footage of Winston Churchill and German aircraft, it could have been set anywhere from 1926 to 1976.

The Banana Splits Movie
User:Dominicmgm/sandbox/bananasplits

Movie Piracy
Movie piracy is the act of illegally copying a movie onto another format and distributing it.

It has existed since the days of the silent movie, but only grew in the 1980s, when camcorders became commonplace. It grew even further in the 2000s, due to tapeless camcorders being silent and the Internet being in the majority of homes by then.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Many early rips (often called cam rips) are poor quality, often having sound from the audience and autofocus issues.
 * 2) It causes many studios to lose money, thus leading into more awful movies.
 * 3) Searching for movies on sites like The Pirate Bay or 123Movies can be tedious, as there are constant virus and porn popups. Even using an adblocker may not work.
 * 4) Some files even have actual viruses in them.
 * 5) Many rips of DVDs or Blu-rays do not have the extra features or foreign audio tracks in the official releases.
 * 6) If you buy one, you are supporting criminals.

On the plus side...

 * 1) Rips from home media (especially Blu-rays) are quite good and indistinguishable from the original.
 * 2) They are the only way to get fanedits, such as Harmy's Despecialized Editions. If you own an official release of the original media, then it is safe.
 * 3) They are the only way to watch movies banned in strict countries like China.

Sausage Party (not gonna be made at all)
'''NOTE: This page will never be published. This is a concept page of what it would look like had it been allowed. Also note I am neutral on this film.'''

Sausage Party is a 2016 computer animated comedy film by Seth Rogen. It is touted as the first R-rated 3D CGI animated film ever made.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Excessive amount of unnecessary cursing. Even the first word uttered in the film is a swear!
 * 2) Disgusting sex references, including an orgy at the end.
 * 3) The producers treated the animators like slaves, forcing them to work extra hours otherwise they would go uncredited.
 * 4) There's an incredibly horrifying scene where the humans eat all the foods, even baby carrots.

A View to a Kill
A View to a Kill is the fourteenth James Bond movie, and the last one to star Roger Moore. The title is adapted from 1960's short story "From a View to a Kill", but the film has an entirely original screenplay.

Like Die Another Day, it is considered one of the worst James Bond films.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The most obvious flaw is that Roger Moore was way too old to be playing Bond at this point. He was horrified to find out that the Bond girl's mother was younger than him.
 * 2) The plot is basically a poor rehash of Goldfinger, only with microchips rather than gold.
 * 3) The opening credits are a big step down from previous films, especially if you consider how beautiful the 1970s ones were.
 * 4) Zorin's plot is idiotic: destroying Silicon Valley would do nothing to the production of microchips, as they are made in countries like China instead of the United States, plus since Silicon Valley consumes microchips, he would actually be harming his own customers.
 * 5) There's an extremely horrifying scene where Zorin massacres his mine workers.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) Duran Duran's theme song for this film is awesome.
 * 2) Christopher Walken is pretty entertaining as the main villain, Max Zorin.
 * 3) May Day (played by Grace Jones) is one of the best Bond villain henchmen ever.

Found Footage 3D
Found Footage 3D is a 2016 3D found footage film by Steven DeGennaro.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The premise of "the first 3D found footage film" was dated when it came out, because Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension had beaten it to the pulp a year earlier.
 * 2) The title alone, which is incredibly generic.
 * 3) Like the Paranormal Activity series, it's incredibly boring.
 * 4) It uses every found footage cliche in the book.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The acting is alright.

Sextette
Sextette is a 1978 musical comedy film by Ken Hughes, starring Mae West in her final role.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Mae West was way too old and past her prime to be acting as a sex symbol in the film. The filmmakers tried to disguise her age by applying heavy Gaussian blur, which didn't work.
 * 2) Wastes the talents of Timothy Dalton, Tony Curtis, Ringo Starr and Mae West.
 * 3) Tony Curtis plays an incredibly offensive Russian stereotype.
 * 4) Laughably bad musical numbers.

Redacted
Redacted is a 2007 war film by Brian De Palma, loosely based on the 2006 Mahmudiyah killings in which US troops rape an Iraqi girl and kill her family.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The film is just De Palma's earlier war film, Casualties of War, recycled in Iraq instead of Vietnam.
 * 2) Incohesive style: the film is presented as a soldier's video war diary, a French TV documentary, Arabic TV broadcasts and several internet videos. As such, it resembles a student film more than a movie made by a professional director.
 * 3) Laughable acting for a drama.
 * 4) All the US soldiers are unlikeable stereotypes and the film paints the whole of the US as evil, especially the end photo montage making it seem like the civilians depicted in the photos were killed by US personnel, which is insulting to current and former military personnel.

Transmorphers
Transmorphers is a mockbuster action movie by The Asylum.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Judging from the title, you'd think it was a Transformers knockoff, but it's actually a Terminator knockoff.
 * 2) Godawful special effects that look like something from a PS1 cutscene.
 * 3) Unengaging acting.
 * 4) Bad sound design: sometimes, things explode silently.
 * 5) The first DVD pressings had an issue where the audio got out of sync as the film progressed.

Underground Short Films
'''NOTE: I'm only adding it here as I now discovered it's actually quite niche for TTVSW. This serves as a backup for AMW instead.'''

Underground Short Films are a series of adult animated short films that are supposed to be a parody of other media, as well as having a style of drawing that has no color whatsoever, examples include Mickey Mouse in Vietnam, Bambi Meets Godzilla, and Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown.

Plot
Mickey Mouse in Vietnam features Mickey walking until he comes across a giant poster that says "Join the Army and See the World", Mickey then dresses up as a soldier and goes to Vietnam via boat in order to fight in the then-ongoing Vietnam War. However, a few seconds after arriving in Vietnam, Mickey gets shot in the head, dying instantly.

Bambi Meets Godzilla has no plot whatsoever, it mainly consists of the opening credits, after the credits, Bambi gets crushed by Godzilla's foot.

Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown consists of the Peanuts gang trying to kill Charlie after The Great Pumpkin puts a bounty on the former's head. However, after multiple assassination attempts, Charlie kills the Peanuts gang by shooting them. A few montages then are shown, one of them features Mickey getting hit on the head by a lead pipe.

Why They All Suck
All three of them
 * 1) While "Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown" has passable animation, Mickey Mouse in Vietnam and Bambi Meets Godzilla have extremely awful animation, as they look like they were made in the 1910s.
 * 2) The animation itself is not only awful (aside of "Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown"), it also has no color to all of them other than just being black-and-white.
 * 3) All of them add stuff that has nothing to do with Mickey Mouse, Peanuts or Bambi, such as violence.
 * 4) All of them are very insulting, offensive, devious, mean-spirited and disrespectful to Mickey Mouse, Bambi, Godzilla and Peanuts fans and creators in every way.
 * 5) They try to be like black-and-white cartoons, but yet, they make the animation look like it was made from a screen projector than an actual camera.
 * 6) Horrible writing and production values.
 * 7) Tons of disturbing imagery added in all of the three.

"Mickey Mouse in Vietnam" (1968)
 * 1) As already mentioned before, the ending is extremely violent, nonsensical and creepy, the ending is basically Mickey getting shot dead after arriving in Vietnam.
 * 2) The film is also named Short Subject, which is a extremely stupid title.
 * 3) The title, "Mickey Mouse in Vietnam", sounds more likely a Vietnam War propaganda cartoon than anything ever desired or asked for.
 * 4) The smile Mickey has in the scene where the camera zooms up to his dead body is extremely disturbing.

"Bambi Meets Godzilla" (1969)
 * 1) The film barely features Godzilla at all, and when he does appear, only his foot is shown.
 * 2) Misleading title.
 * 3) The entire film is just one scene of Bambi eating grass before being crushed by Godzilla, which feels like filler until we see Bambi dead.

"Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown" (1986)
 * 1) Out of all the shorts in the article, this is the most violent and vulgar of them all.
 * 2) Everyone was unlikable because they wanted to kill Charlie Brown when he did absolutely nothing wrong to any single one of them. It's not like he betrayed any of them.
 * 3) A scene where Snoopy bites Charlie's hand off, while tons of blood gushes out.
 * 4) The aforementioned scene where Charlie kills all of the Peanuts gang.
 * 5) The face Mickey pulls after getting clobbered with a lead pipe is uncomfortable and creepy to look at.
 * 6) The voice actors sound NOTHING like the original voices of the characters.
 * 7) Blondie and Dagwood, Mickey Mouse, Popeye, Rocky Balboa, and even Godzilla make cameos for absolutely no reason, just talk about pure shoehorning.
 * 8) The gagging sound that Charlie Brown makes when getting choked by Linus's blanket is very unsettling to listen to.
 * 9) During the scene where Charlie Brown kills his friends, Charlie Brown was seen killing Mexican banditos and nazis which might be offensive to some viewers.
 * 10) The looks of "Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown" is not just violent, but also uncomfortable, unfunny, vile, cruel, over the top, horrifying, and scarring. If you watch it once, then see what we all mean.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) As already mentioned above, Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown has animation that ranges from decent to passable and matches the style of the Peanuts specials.
 * 2) Bambi Meets Godzilla gained a huge cult following among animation fans. It is also arguably the least bad of the bunch as it isn't as gruesome as the other two shorts since the only use of graphic content is Bambi being crushed, which thankfully has no blood at all.
 * 3) Only lasted three cartoons.
 * 4) Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown has some funny moments such as the kite-eating tree tipping over and falling on Charlie Brown.
 * 5) At least other Golden Age cartoons such as Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Superman, Betty Boop, Casper, The Flintstones, Barney Bear, Pink Panther, Woody Woodpecker, Yogi Bear, Droopy, and Mighty Mouse never got the same treatment as Bambi, Godzilla, Charlie Brown, Blondie, Popeye, or even Mickey Mouse.

Trivia

 * Mickey Mouse in Vietnam won an award at the International Short Film Festival Oberhausen in 1970.
 * Bambi Meets Godzilla got ranked at the the 38th place in The 50 Greatest Cartoons book.
 * Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown was directed by Jim Reardon, who would later become a director and storyboard consultant for The Simpsons.
 * Mickey Mouse in Vietnam was directed by Whitney Lee Savage (father of Adam Savage, a host of Mythbusters) and produced by Milton Glaser (designer of the I ❤️ NY logo)

Oscar Bait
Oscar bait is a term used to describe movies that appear to have been made with the goal of earning Academy Award nominations.

Specific Oscar Bait tactics

 * Releasing the film in autumn or winter, near the Oscar ceremony.
 * Making them extremely long (around 3 hours)
 * Having depressing subject matter (e.g. the Holocaust)
 * Making the movies about mental illness, disability, etc.
 * In the 2010s, a popular theme for these movies were making them about Hollywood or film-making. Examples included Argo and La La Land.

List of Oscar Bait movies

 * Come See the Paradise was voted by the UCLA as the most blatant Oscar Bait movie in history. It was set in the Great Depression and World War II and touched upon Japanese internment camps. Due to how obvious it was, the Academy ignored it.
 * The first movie to employ these tactics was mh:greatestmovies:The Deer Hunter. After a failed test screening, Universal consulted producer Allan Carr and he said the only way anyone would watch a grim and depressing film were if it earned Academy Awards. They then played the film in two theatres in New York and Los Angeles for two weeks near the end of the Oscar season so it could qualify for the Oscars. After it was nominated, Universal sent it into wide release, where the film became a smash hit and ultimately won five Academy Awards including Best Picture.
 * Miramax employed these tactics, most infamously on Shakespeare in Love, snubbing mh:greatestmovies:Saving Private Ryan of a Best Picture Oscar.

Abduction
Abduction is a 2011 action movie directed by John Singleton.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) It was not screened for critics, a major red flag.
 * 2) False Advertising: Nobody gets abducted in this film. Karen gets temporarily kidnapped on the train, but not much to be called an abduction.

Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story is a 2005 made-for-TV drama.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Terrible acting.
 * 2) They couldn't get the rights to any of Michael Jackson's songs, leaving the King of Pop dancing to stock music.
 * 3) Poor casting choices: None of the characters look like who they're supposed to be portraying, especially Flex Alexander as Michael, as his portrayal falls into the uncanny valley.
 * 4) Stupid editing, as it randomly cuts to actual news footage.
 * 5) There's an awkward scene where Jackson asks a bodyguard for the time and he says "Midnight, September 11th, 2001" which then cuts to Jackson and his kids watching the 9/11 attacks live on TV.
 * 6) Shoddy camerawork.

The Conqueror
The Conqueror is a 1956 historical epic film starring John Wayne.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) A very bad casting choice: John Wayne playing Genghis Khan.
 * 2) It lead to the death of RKO Pictures.
 * 3) Howard Hughes made a stupid decision to film downwind of a nuclear test site, poisoning and eventually leading to the cancer deaths of all the cast and crew, John Wayne (possibly) included.

Monster-a Go Go
Monster-a Go Go is a 1965 sci-fi film by Bill Rebane and Herschell Gordon Lewis.

It was originally filmed unfinished in 1961, but Herschell needed a film for a double feature, so he added extra scenes to it.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Misleading title: The film has very little to do with go-go dancing.
 * 2) Most of the cast disappear halfway through the film due to Herschell being unable to secure most of the original cast for reshoots.
 * 3) A phone noise is obviously someone making a noise with their mouth.
 * 4) The ending. To summarise, the heroes corner the monster in a sewer, only for the ending narration to say there was no monster at all.

S. Darko
S. Darko is a 2009 science fiction thriller film directed by Chris Fisher. It is a sequel to the 2001 cult classic Donnie Darko.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Richard Kelly was not involved with this film, which, given that Donnie Darko is known for his brand of weirdness, is a major red flag.
 * 2) Stupid dialogue, for example "Till farts taste like cherries".
 * 3) Terrible acting.
 * 4) Poor homages to the first film, which makes it seem more of an Asylum-made mockbuster than an official sequel.
 * 5) The effects are somehow worse than the original despite being made 8 years later.

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The cinematography is decent.
 * 2) The soundtrack is a great follow-up to the original's soundtrack.

Tarzan (2013)
Tarzan (also known as Tarzan 3D) is a 2013 motion capture adventure film directed by Reinhard Kloos.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) Horrendous motion-capture animation that falls into the uncanny valley.
 * 2) Poor attempts to update the Tarzan plot to a modern setting.
 * 3) A shoddy meteor plot device.
 * 4) Very forced environmental morals.

The Only Redeeming Quality

 * 1) Although the human and ape animation is hideous, the jungle and water look beautiful.

Enter the Anime
Enter the Anime is a 2019 documentary film by Netflix about anime and its influence on culture.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) It's nothing more than a poorly disguised 58 minute commercial for Netflix's own anime.
 * 2) On top of that, some of the shows highlighted (like Castlevania) aren't even anime, only anime influenced.
 * 3) * Its creator, Adi Shankar, isn't Japanese as well, despite this movie saying that "the heart and soul of anime is in Japan".
 * 4) It does not mention the other popular and influential anime like Astro Boy, Cowboy Bebop, anything by Studio Ghibli, etc.
 * 5) * They also interviewed a person who worked on Neon Genesis Evangelion, one of the most influentual anime of all time. However, they interviewed not the creator, not even an animator, but the person who sang the intro theme.
 * 6) The anime industry isn't depicted well, highlighting it as "revolving around weirdness" to the point it feels incredibly orientalist.
 * 7) Godawful and annoying editing with filter overuse that rivals mh:crappygames:Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.
 * 8) The host, Tania Nolan, is incredibly obnoxious and attempts to pander to a young crowd while failing miserably.

Captivity
Captivity is a 2007 horror movie directed by Roland Joffé.

Why It Sucks

 * 1) The infamous advertising campaign. To summarise, they placed four-panel billboards depicting the main character getting kidnapped, tortured and then slumping over dead in Los Angeles and New York, places where they can be easily seen by children.
 * 2) * To make matters worse, the MPAA did not approve the billboard yet the marketers still went with it.
 * 3) * It's also a case of false advertising as the character depicted ends up surviving the events of the film.
 * 4) Executive meddling: they added torture scenes to capitalise on the Saw movies and the then-popular torture porn genre. As a result they stick out like a sore thumb.
 * 5) Very rushed pacing.
 * 6) Poor plot.